What is this? I need an opinion pls - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Strawberry.hill · 02-04-2007, 09:43 PM

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and a little OCD (whatever a little is supposed to be).
I have a problem falling asleep sometimes, I sometimes have to get up and re-check the doors are all locked and the stove is off. I also worry abuot things being pligged in while not in use.
Then I lay down and cannot help listening for small noises, I joke around saying I can hear a mouse sneeze next door. So I wear ear plugs every night. I have tried to not wear them, but I keep getting up and checking on small noises. Even with earplugs, I can hear noises and get jumpy.
I guess it did aggravate the problem the fact that I was in Iraq for a year. I kept being surprised by loud blasts., and I hate sudden noises. Even though I was not afraid because I trusted God to take care of us, I got a little jumpy even when my neighbor slams the door. I still jump on similar noises. But that is different.
Again I try to go to sleep, and I find that my throat feels a little sticky, and I feel the need to swallow to get rid of the feeling, and it does not go away. Other times I feel the need to "crack my toes", I do it over and over, and it does not help. Other times I need to get up and find lotion because my feet feel so dry and rub on the sheets.

I also have a fear of napkins, which my friends actually think is pretty funny, they think it's cute. I hate the noise they make when they move or rub together, to me it's like "nails on the chalkboard"

Am I alone in this? I haven't even told the doctor all this.
I am on medication now, apparently I was medicated wrong, but it has worked so I rather not change, and my doctor agrees.
Thanks guys, I just wanted to vent and see if anyone understands.
I am focusing on finding a use for these feelings and all, since I watched Monk. I realized that while at work, it does help to be observant. I am an investigator, and it happens that I was able to spot "mistakes" in what were supposed to be crime scenes. I noticed inconsistencies, and therefor several were not even "breaking and entering" cases, just vandalism.

I loved being able to help people and put these little quirks I have been fighting for years, to good use.

Now I am back home and I am afraid because I am looking for a job and I am terrified that I will be asked if I am on medication. I can't lie!!! I just can't. can't help it.
I hope it all works out, I have another interview next week for the job I wanted.
Thanks for reading this.

Strawberry

Dantheinsane · 02-05-2007, 03:56 PM

Sleep is a big thing for me and if I am not careful I will have very little of it. Then I look all bug eyed like I am on a little bit of speed. When I think, people are thinking that, I know they don't know me because I am a recovering addict and I never did a little bit of anything especially speed.

Back to the sleep thing. I hate noises in the room so I always have some sort of white noise in the room. This is winter in the desert so I have a air cleaner. During the spring, summer, and fall I have a window air conditioner. This helps a lot, even my wife loves it, because it quiets my snoring.

If I didn't have such a thing about electronics being on at night I would run a recording of my AC for the winter.

ocdengineer · 02-05-2007, 05:55 PM

Hey Strawbery,

Where did your doctor get the Bipolar diagnosis from? Do you have any kind of visual or auditory hallucinations? Bipolar is one of the most misunderstood dissorders by doctors. If you have OCD which from your post, you clearly do then this is how it works. Tell me if this is how it works for you:

You deal with the OCD, the obsessions and/or compulsions and you work hard to fight it for months and then you slowly start to get worn down until you crash into a depression that usually only lasts a few days and then you brush yourself off again and start battling the OCD again. Is this what is happening to you? If so, you are not Bipolar at all. Bipolar is a psychosis and people with OCD are commonly mistaken for psychosis by their GP or regular doctor. A specialist should know the difference. Now you yourself said that you didn't tell your doctor everything. It is very important that you tell him everything or else you could get a misdiagnosis which may be the case if you don't have severe depression followed by sever mania which it doesn't sound like you have.

Let me know what you think. Becoming depressed over time at intervals is common for almost all anxiety dissorders. You aren't Bipolar unless you have mania and depression and a lot of times there is a hallucination problem as well.

You also sound like you are having problems with PTSD Post traumatic stress dissorder which would cause you to be jumpy and on edge all the time at night. I think nayone would react the same, so don't be upset about that. Anyway, look into the differences between Bipolar and OCD and see which fits you more. I am curious what you think. I just don't want to see a guy with an anxiety dissorder put on heavy traquilizers for no reason.

Take care,
OE

dannic1 · 02-05-2007, 06:13 PM

I also check stove knobs and locks - not too bad, but I definitely do it. I also worry a little about things that are plugged in, but not in use. I always unplug my Fabreeze scents player while it's not running. I sometimes worry about the fact that we keep a light on in the living room all night long for the dogs, in case they get up and have to use the doggie door.

About the swallowing - my problem is that I have the need or urge to obsess over my swallowing. I had this silly problem back in high school and it came back under stress at age 44. It had gone away on its own and then decided to rear its ugly head again. I have opted to do talk therapy and try an alternative therapy - biofeedback. I have good days and bad days with the OCD. I have a strong faith in God that this will go away again. The anxiety, however, is much better. I agree with the OCD engineer, though, that I think we do have occasional boughts of depression over the OCD and then we are "okay" again and continue to battle it. Who with OCD wouldn't love to just live a normal life, although I have heard of it disappearing in certain cases or changing? From everything that I have learned about it, the symptoms can wax and wane and stress doesn't help it any. I have always disliked certain noises i.e. ticking clocks, squeaky swings, dripping water, etc. I like to have noise in a silent room - I turn on my fan at work on my desk and we have an air purifier in our bedroom, although it died the other day. If the fish tank is gurgling and needs water added, I HAVE to get up and add water.

I guess we all have our quirks. I hope you get to
feeling better. You're in my thoughts and in my prayers.

God bless you.

danni

Strawberry.hill · 02-06-2007, 01:02 AM

Hey, some of the noises that bug us are normal, most everyone I know would be bugged by constant noises, like water dripping. The thing is that when I lay down, I listen for small noises and I cannot help it. But I don't take it seriously, I just annoy myself.
The Bipolar thing, seems like it is, I did have the stop-and-run thing going on. Not oo extreme, but bad enough. I am still that way because I am on antidepressants that help me keep from having the deer in the headlights effect when I get depressed or overwhelmed. I used to freeze up, now I just slow down a little. The mania is not bad, it helps me catch up on stuff I need to get done.
I can manage, and I am comfortable with the medication, but no, I am not constantly sedated, I cannot drive and make a living while numb like that.
It's just good to know that I am not the only one that has little quirks, and I don't talk about it because I'm nor sure people would want to hear it.
Thanks
Strawberry