Eating alone - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

purplegirl1 · 02-10-2007, 11:26 PM

OK - This may sound strange but I hate when someone eats alone (usually it bothers me so much when it is a loved one). If my husband is hungry and makes himself something to eat in front the tv, he is happy, relaxing, I fell sooooo guilty that he is eating alone, I have to sit with him..it is weird...also he likes to stop for fast food and eat in in his car or inside the place by himself - that drives me crazy, I feel sick to my stomach when he does that but he doesn't care. Why should that bother me?? When people stand and eat I feel sad for them.. why do I obsess over this? Why should this bother me if the person doesn't care and besides I enjoy eating and watching tv by myself too but I don't obsess about that, lol??

hergy · 02-10-2007, 11:38 PM

I feel you here. I, too, have that problem. I can be happily enjoying a meal in public with a friend and see a person eating alone. My mood instantly darkens and I lose interest in my meal, my enjoyment, everything. I think about it the rest of the day.

I think there are several reasons why that can bother you. I'm not a professional, so I can only guess. I have OCD, but I also have abandonment issues. Perhaps my fear of abandonment flares up when I see someone alone, as if they were left in that predicament. I really don't know what else it could be.

I, too, don't mind being alone. If the problem consumes you, address it with a therapist. You don't deserve to be consumed with such an issue. It impedes your joy. That's not fair. Especially if there's help out there.

Keep me posted.

Love,

Nikki

purplegirl1 · 02-10-2007, 11:40 PM

Thanks,
Yes I do go to therapy and I have discussed it. I think it is because my father died when I was younger and I always feared my mom would be alone or lonely and I always wanted to keep her company, I was also anorexic when I was younger, so food is a huge issue with me to begin with. Thanks

Trixibel · 02-11-2007, 04:33 AM

If you were tuned in to not wanting your mother to be alone then of course it would carry over in to life in general - not wanting people to be lonely. If we think too much about these things it gets really sad. I know. When my husband comes home at night he eats alone but he eats alone with the paper!! and he's quite happy - even if I sit down with him I know he'd rather be reading the paper!! So it's YOUR concern - you own it and you know where it's coming from. Maybe when you see them eating alone and you start to get upset by it just think to yourself 'This is bothering me because I don't want them to be lonely' and then say to yourself 'they're probably not lonely, they're probably quite happy.' But yes - could relate to your deep seated worry about your mother being lonely. Sorry you lost your dad young. That must have been hard. Did you have siblings? Very, very hard if you were an only child. I know when one of my parents die I'll be wanting to bring them home to live with me and they'll be kicking and screaming all the way!!!!

There's a lot being said now about the link between eating disorders and zinc deficiency, and zinc and mental illness in general. Might be worth looking into if you're interested. Carl Pfeiffer has written about it, and Patrick Holford, who's written lots of books about nutrition 'for the mind'. It's been very helpful for me doing that reading - just hasn't quite cured me of my rejection issues - lol!!

purplegirl1 · 02-11-2007, 09:41 AM

Trixibel - thanks alot. You are completely right. My husband is having a ball eating and watching TV and I feel sad... it is totally my issue. Besides when I am eating and watching tv or reading something I love it too. Yes, it does come from myself and you are right. I had OCD before the anorexia and apparently the anorexia was just part of my OCD. I probably had OCD since a very young child - about 5 or 6, I used to wash my hands constantly and do lots of physical things.. my parents called it "bad habits", I think once my dad died ( 2 weeks before my 10th bday) things became mental obsessions more than physical. I think I may have starved myself because my dad loved food and maybe I felt guilty subconsciously, also my mom stopped eating really after he died because she was sooo sad, not sure if it is because of that. So as you can see food is huge in my life and eating with people, etc...
Thanks