FL_originator

I haven’t been diagnosed by a Dr. but have had OCD for years (even @ age 3 my mother would laugh about how I wouldn’t allow my friends to come and play because they wouldn’t put the toys back where they belong, in the right place, right position, etc. in my playroom when they were done with them). I can’t be diagnosed because I am obsessed with finding the “perfect” Dr. for my treatment – I know it doesn’t make sense because “not the best treatment” should be better than none, but I have felt I should be able to deal with this on my own, which is becoming more difficult daily!

My 3 yr old is showing severe anxiety and signs of OCD and I’m obsessing over whether I have caused these actions based on my own without knowing I was showing them or if she truly has them. I truly don’t think that is the case though because I have 2 older daughters and while they exhibit some signs, it isn’t as severe. My 3 yr old has become much worse over the past year and it hurts me SO badly. I hate thinking of what she will go through over the years with this and want so much to help her but don’t know how since I haven’t gotten help for it myself. She truly has “mini” anxiety attacks and begins to shake and frantically cry over what seem to be minute things to others but I understand her feelings. Most who don’t know say she is just spoiled rotten or she needs to realize she doesn’t “run the house” etc., but her obsessions and need for routine aren’t those sort of things – having 2 other daughters, I know the diff. between a child being a child and a child in distress. Her attacks started from typical child (ex: who could put her in her car seat, who could get her out, who could help her with certain tasks, etc.) but have escalated to something much more extreme. Now, she will seriously have a breakdown if I allow my husband to drive my car – he has to drive his truck and I have to drive mine – we can’t drive each others cars (make sense?) At a local buffet, I’ve noticed over the past 4-5 months, she’d get mad at her sisters when they tried to get the tray. I thought at first it was typical behavior until I noticed the reasoning. She had to be sure she took the top tray off and put it behind the others so she could get the next tray – will NOT take the one from the top. Then, she’s begun to nitpick her highchair in restaurants and say they were yucky even though there was nothing really on them – my husband would get frustrated and feel she was just being difficult but I would take her and the chair over to the other chairs and let her pick “her chair” and she would be fine (they were identical but one didn’t have a spot on it that the other may have had – things most kids wouldn’t even notice).

Anyway, I am nitpicky about many things and my husband knows about it but I have tried very hard to “hide” this behavior in front of my girls, so not to “contaminate” or influence them. I’ve tried my best to let them be kids and not freak over germs, etc. with them (though sometimes, I’m sure it shows).

Is 3 too early to get a diagnosis and treatment? Is it too early to start, even though it may be available? Her OCD has been my latest OCD obsession! Will this EVER go away or get better? Sorry, just desperately needed to vent!