I got so sick of my OCD. It robbed me of my time and happiness. I've seen people destroyed by it. I've had it. My biggest thing is not to give in to compulsions, then obsessions weaken and I switch to new ones, but they lessen over time. Saturday afternoon I stopped giving in to compulsions. It's been a battle, I'm getting terrible images in my head, but I am doing it. It's getting a little better, although this battle in my head is making me physically sick. But I am doing it, I want to do it for the sake of my relationship, I've got a wonderful BF and I want to have a future with him, not die in a mental home.
I hope I can do it.
I want to wish you luck, but I know I would be lying to you and me if I did. It is so hard sometimes and gets so old. You know what to do when and if they get bad enough. We will be waiting to hear from you.
I'm still trying and oddly enough, OCD is not as strong. I know it is just lying low, so I am not overjoyed. When obsession strikes, it's hard, but I tell to myself: "I missed so many compulsions by now, so if it's true that those things may happen, it does not matter at this point anyway". Then I know it's not true, and I am not God to make things happen and I even do not want them to happen, it's OCD talking.
When it gets really hard, I remind myself I CANNOT GO BACK and I HAVE NO CHOICE and start to really hate OCD. Cold turkey may work for me, since I quit smoking cold turkey, smoked for 7 years and free for 4. I've done little avoidance thing, but I try not to let it go in my way.
Funny thing is, my mind wants to keep OCD like it's a safe habit. I actually feel sick, like withdrawing from something - withdrawing from the habit my mind composed for itself to keep itself from reality. I have a headache, sinuses acting up, low temperature, joints hurt, back hurts and I feel weak.
I am determined to go on, though. The more you let yourself go, the more it takes on you.
Uhh, it's been hard. I am still going though, I am determined. I've been OCD for 15 years now, so now or never. I've overcome a very strong compulsion today, but I will be going to therapist, I need - although I know it's not true- reassurance on this one, 'cause it's driving me nut. Obsessions don't come as often and my mind started to "free up", but guess what - avoidance behaviour get in the way and obsessions pretend they are something else, so sometimes I have to stop and think - is this my choice or is this an OCD action. I think I will have to control myself for yeeears.
