isuguru07

Alright, It started over the last girl i was in a serious relationship, and what happened was she left for the fact that I was going to a different college and nothing was talked about or anything as to why she suddenly just called it quits. It was about 2-3 weeks or so of being really depressed and my heart had a really sharp pain in it, kind of like when you feel nervous but about 50 times more painful, I honestly couldnt sleep because how painful it felt, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I had no clue what to do, then one night I laid there wondering if I had to change to get her back, I just all of a sudden went hey, how are you breathing with out focusing on it, then I started putting focus on my tongue and mouth movements, Now all of a sudden it seems like my eyes are my mouth and tongue since all my focus is there, I dont act the same, Ive lost alot of friends and feel like I have no emotions, Its constantly me feeling my mouth is wrong or in the wrong position, well its almost been a year since this started and now I feel it just comes natural for me to adjust/focus on my lips and tongue and every thing always tenses up, I cant access my train of though and Im getting really sick and tired about it, Ive gone to therepy probably about 10-20 times and therepy makes me feel really good about my self, but only when Im there, I know ive gotten alot better, I used to feel third person alot and every thing around me didnt feel real at all, now I cant keep all my focus on daily life and whats around me and react to it. I feel like I when I talk to some one, I figure the shortest easiest answer as quick as possible and then focus on my mouth while im saying it.

WHHHAAAT CANNN I DO?!?!?!?!

MEDS ARE NOT AN OPTION because I choose not to, so please no suggestions of going on meds

ANY OTHER INFO WILL HELPFUL!!!