I have OCD, almost to the point where it is debilitating...I have trouble speaking to other people unless I can speak to them one on one, and am very socially awkward in general, so I have a hard time communicating on a level in which I can maintain a friendship with people. I've also dealt with abuse in the past, so I'm rather weary when it comes to speaking and opening up with people. I'm also in a position in life right now, where I'm unable to go out and get myself into enough social situations to start making friends (although once college starts for me, that should make it easier to communicate with people).
I have trouble keeping friendships as well -- for many reasons -- for one thing, I'm not good on the phone (not to mention, I don't want to deal with large phone bills), and the friends that I do have live far away...so I ask if they can keep in touch via e-mail or through instant messaging. I speak online as I would in-person, I'm honest about that...however, most of my friends that I do have are very social animals as well, and don't even bother using instant messaging or whatever...and I write my friends simple yet detailed e-mails, saying how things are going, how are things with them, etc...(trying to be a good considerate friend here), and they can't even be bothered to reply to e-mails anymore, or read what I have to write -- generally I get some one-word response that doesn't even pertain to anything discussed in the e-mail.
Another thing...when I am able to be with my friends or talk to them, they always try to push me out of my comfort zone, even when I clearly state what they want me to do or are talking about bothers me. For example, I grew up in an alcoholic family and one of my friends keeps trying to get me to start drinking now that I turn 21, and I've told her several times -- I'm never going to drink, ever, and the fact that she keeps getting me to try bothers me. I don't see what's so hard to understand about that. Either that or my friends often use me as a crutch if they went out and did something stupid, hooked up with a bad boyfriend/girlfriend whatever...oh I'm broke, can you loan me money and I won't pay you back...it's like it's the only thing I'm good at doing. I present to my friends, online or offline what I'm doing research on, what I'm obsessing over, etc...and they always change topic to focus all on them, and what they're doing. It feels like a one-sided street. I'm usually by myself all the time anyways, so I'm lucky if my friends even give me a moment to talk about "me". I don't ever yell or lose my temper much...usually when something really upsets me I just go into crying fits...and then my friends feel real bad -- I tell them exactly and clearly why something upset me, and again, it goes over their heads...
Maybe my friends are just inconsiderate. I don't know...all's I know is I yearn to make friendships, and be able to make them last. I'm about reciprocation when it comes to maintaining relations with people -- what you give, you give back. If my friends can't even reciprocate with friendship, what's the point...I want people to care about, but I don't want to get walked on or feel used.
I hope this all makes sense.
I should just go back to arranging my Transformers on shelves.