Feeling as if I am doing something wrong all the time - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

seaturtle · 09-16-2007, 09:33 PM

Hi,

I have anxiety about doing almost anything, sometimes. It can be something ordinary, like putting my sunglasses back in their case (I found I have to, or I will misplace them in a store or somewhere). As I do it, I feel as if I were being judged, told I am no good, I am faking, I'm just doing that to act as if I am normal...I can't really describe it better. It's a constant feeling of guilt, as if I have to answer for whatever I'm doing. Alkl my actions are invaliadated by this feeling. It's threatening, too: saying that I can't really do anything at all and should stop trying to pretend I can.

Don't know if that makes any sense to anyone here. I have considerable PTSD and other stuff; therapist think's it's trauma-related, pdoc says OCD.
Does anyone have this, too? It's not auditory hallucination, not voices, just nagging thoughts that want to stop me from doing anything.

Thanks a lot for any responses, and I hope everyone is all right

Seaturtle

seriousperson · 09-16-2007, 11:06 PM

Seaturtle,
I think I know how that feels: kind of like you want to cringe and run away and fall into a pit to escape your not-good-enough self and start over where nobody knows you?
Anyway, the risperdal that relieves my anxiety seems to have blocked most of those thoughts. Interesting that I also now get very few of the I'm-doing-awesome type thoughts.

seaturtle · 09-17-2007, 01:47 AM

Thanks, seriousperson,

Yes, exactly. Cringe and cower out of fear and shame -- interestingly enough, mostly when I am alone. Much more inside myself than feeling it's coming from anyone else, though if there's a remote possiblity that someone might judge me or be angry at me, then I immediately go into flight mode and "whatever it is, it has to be my fault."

I'm glad the Risperdal works for you. Xanax does help it somewhat. But I take much less Xanax than is prescribed, don't like depending on it.

So am I safe in assuming that this, too (sigh) is part of the OCD?

What isn't? lol

Thanks for answering,

Seaturtle