Do you have rituals? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

CatGirl1975 · 12-11-2007, 07:14 AM

A couple of weeks ago I posted on another thread that I came forward to my husband about my obsessions/rituals. I told him about my checking things in the house before I leave and find myself turning around to drive back home to check again..This past week we had ice/snow. He left for work and I was right behind him to leave. I had my coat on. I went through the house to "check" everything. And even came up with new rituals(I have started to unplug stuff). He walked back into the house and startled me, even though I was done checking/unplugging things. He didn't leave for work, he said he was sitting in his car to let it warm up. Anyways, that evening he asked if I had check everything and if I had to drive back home? I told him I didn't drive back home that day then went through everything I did that morning. I felt like he was spying on me..Wanting to catch me in my ritual act. Is that just my OCD thinking or was he really wanting to catch me?
I also find that if my husband is home before I leave for work or if somebody is here(mother or inlaw) I don't have the need to check everything. It's like I forget.But with family members here besides my husband and kids I feel nervous. I dunno what to make of this..

LaFin · 12-11-2007, 08:26 AM

Maybe he's just curious or trying to understand? I mean he is your husband after all.

Anyways I have some rituals.
Before I go to sleep I have to turn my alarm clock on and off 5 times and then reset the time it will ring at twice, then check that my IPod is connected properly and on a song that will wake me up, takes about 25minutes.
If I step on something with one foot I need to stop and step on it again with my other foot.
When leaving my house I often turn around and go back because I think I might have left my keys in the lock or only imagined myself locking my door.
When I'm carrying my IPod around with me I check it every minute to make sure it's not on.
If I have a bag I need to make sure it's not about to fall off it's straps everytime I stand up.
I need to check for holes in my pockets constantly.
I reread the pamphlet that came with my medication every time I take it, and then list all the side effects I might have, and all the ones I don't.

The list goes on, but for some reason I'm like you, if I'm talking to someone I trust I kind of forget to do my rituals.

BadMalibu · 12-11-2007, 05:24 PM

Catgirl-

Well, I don't think your OCD has to do with your family unless they're really stressing you out. =) As far as you saying you don't feel the need to check everything when your husband gets home before you do, obviously if he's there, everything is fine which relieves the urge to check all the plugs.

When your other family members are there your OCD might go up, just because you have other people in the house, or you want the house to be perfect, but there could be many reasons. I don't know what your relationship is with each of your family members, but for me I know that anytime I have an argument with a family member, I always have OCD moments because they're my family. The way my CBT explains it to me is that when we're angry or upset at a family member, we recognize these emotions as "bad" or "ugly", and we feel guilty. When we feel guilty about being angry with a loved one, we have intrusive thoughts to bring the emotions to the front of our minds so we can't ignore them, or we have compulsions to distract us from what's really bothering us, which is our feelings towards our family. For me, writing in my journal really helps when I'm feeling stressed out.

CatGirl1975 · 12-15-2007, 07:37 AM

Thanks for the replies

Your right about everything being ok when my husband is home, that I don't have the need to double check everthing. I guess I feel "safe or all is well" when my husband is home. But sometimes when we are leaving the house with our kids (seems like we are always rushing to get somewhere) I always hang back when they go out to the car, so I can run around the house to check. This causes panic because I feel "rushed".But bottom line is, Im calmer when he is around.

As of my other family members (my mother, mother in law, and ex-mother in law) our relationships are great! My anxiety, panic and stress levels have been high for the last couple weeks because my mother's place she has been renting flooded(the basement did) so she has been camping out at my home on and off since Thanksgiving. I don't mind really, but its just that "another body" is in my home that bothers me. She does help around the house, but she does things differently than I do..I like everything done a certain way. When they are done differently that causes me anxiety..I re-arrange the dishwasher dishes after she loads it, she did many loads of laundry for me but didn't fold them in the right place, she vaccumed but didn't put the vaccum back perfectly in the room, she left her toothbrush on the bathroom counter and not in the cup provided. Just little stupid things that wouldnt bother other people that have houseguest. I know that is my OCD when stupid things bother me. I just tell myself to shut up and be happy that you have these days with your mother and to appreciate the help with the housework!

BadMalibu · 12-15-2007, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatGirl1975

I like everything done a certain way. When they are done differently that causes me anxiety.

CatGirl-

Although you have a good relationship with your family, having a guest over that does things a different way can cause some anxiety and some resentment, then bang, you have an OCD moment because we feel we shouldn't have these feelings towards a loved one. You even said it yourself:

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatGirl1975

I just tell myself to shut up and be happy that you have these days with your mother and to appreciate the help with the housework!

That's your OCD telling you how you should feel and that you should just appreciate your mother being there, although you're anxious because of all the stuff she has laying around.

And I can totally relate because I live with my mother and grandmother, and while my grandmother and I are very neat, clean, and organized people, my mother is one who just leaves everything out, just like we did with our toys when we were kids. After years of struggling to pick up her messes and telling her again and again and again and again and again that she needs to put stuff away or clean it up, I've finally just given up. What I can do, however, is keep my room and the area I live in clean because at least I know my "area" is clean. Although many of us struggle with cleaning and contamination fears, and although I have OCD, cleaning and contamination has never been an obsesion for me. I just like things clean and organized.