What to do.....?? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

sobs · 12-12-2007, 02:26 AM

I am mostly home bound from some physical illnesses - and I also have OCD.

I NEVER have company. But, I have a friend from my old job who is also physically sick. We decided to have a sleep over for a few days. Guess what? She does not wash her hands after pottying. OMG!!! I told her the first two times that she "forgot" to wash her hands. She said oh, and washed them. I explained to her that I did not care what she does at home, but could she PLEASE always wash her hands after she potties, while she is here. No problem. BUT, she did not. NO, I was not standing at the bathroom door, listening. I have a very small apt., and can hear whether the water is running. Also, when I would have to go potty a bit after her, the sink was dry...... really big clue! Then she scooped out the litter box, and did not wash.
She stayed once before, not as long, but did wash her hands, although I could tell that she was a bit annoyed with me. Yet, she knew my situation, and seemed supportive. I could see her annoyance last time, when I would ask her to wash her hands before fixing food. This time, she never offered to fix food. Perhaps a bit of passive aggressive behaviorfrom her, to "get back" at me, but I do have to say that I was relieved, even though I definitely could have used the help.
What the heck do you do in this kind of situation? She seems very receptive, on the surface, when I explain everything to her. How on earth do you nicely demand that a house guest wash their hands after they use the bathroom? This is not a child. She is 58 years old!!!!!!!!
So, since she left, I have continued to sleep on the sofa, because I do not feel like stripping the bed and putting on clean sheets. I have also thrown out any bags of chips, donuts, peanuts, etc., that she ate from or touched. The worst part is that I do not feel like doing any of this extra stuff.
It is not the germ contamination that bothers me regarding this. It is the absolute grossness that gets to me. Eeeewwwwww, eeewwwww, eeewwww!!!!!!!
Any ideas? I feel like a griping mother. I guess I will have to tell her again, or, no more sleep overs.
Thanks a lot for any help.
sobs

dustoffkid · 12-12-2007, 02:42 AM

Well, I hate to say it, but the "no more sleepovers" thing may be the best bet (at least for a while). What about hand sanitizer? Would she use that? If she did, would it be enough for you? It's almost impossible for someone who doesn't have OCD (or hasn't lived with someone who does) to understand how deep these things run. I hope things work out for you and that you can continue your visits.

purplegirl1 · 12-12-2007, 05:09 PM

EWWWW i am sorry, but that is just plain gross what she did! I also vote no more sleeping over, just not worth the aggrevation. OCD or not that is just yucky! I agree with you.

sobs · 12-12-2007, 07:08 PM

I know. I tend to agree with y'all. But, it was nice to have a friend to actually spend time with me. I NEVER see anyone, except my 2 or 3 doctor visits a year.

Have you folks ever noticed how MANY people leave public restrooms without washing their hands? So, just imagine what they do at home. egad and eeewwwwww!!!
Darn it......... I just wish I could come up with a way...
I may try to talk to her about it. It is just nutz to have to ask an adult to wash their hands after pottying.
And, have any of you had this situation? I guess most of you live with someone. How do you approach them with things like this???

and

sobs

lbreeze · 12-13-2007, 12:22 AM

I can relate to that situation all too well. It's kinda funny but very distressing. I think one trait of ocd is that people who have it tend to thrive on control. However, when someone is in your house, you can't really dictate exactly what they do. I sold (for a fraction of the price I paid for it) a practically new stereo system before because my cousin used the bathroom and didn't wash afterward and then used the stereo. I watched about to break out in hives as my cousin pawed all over the stereo, changing the dials and playing cd's. Ugh!!

I usually avoid situations like that now because I only have one room (my bedroom) that absolutely must be "sterile" and is off limits. I've sorta learned to look over what happens in the other rooms. Usually, a quick cleaning after company has left will do in those rooms.

Do you think you could deal with short visits rather than over night stays?