Helping children with intrusive thoughts - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Charmgirl · 01-01-2008, 02:08 PM

Does anybody have a recommendation for how to help my daughter. We did see a therapist just for a "getting to know you" type of thing but we don't go back until after the holidays. My little gal (just turned 10) has such a hard time with processing these thoughts. I try to tell her different encouraging things to talk her thru it but it looks like she is looking right thru me. I feel like I am not getting thru at all. It breaks my heart. SHe always crys when she gets the thoughts and I don't know how she is going to get thru at school when we end our Christmas break. I need SOMETHING to be able to help her to cope with this. This is like a monster of a thing that totally takes her over. Yesterday she had a full blown panic attack when she could not rid herself of a thought. What has worked best for those of you that have been able to talk yourself out of an intrusive thought! PLEASE HELP. I am getting panicky myself watching her experience this. She says she wants to not even live anymore if she has to have these thoughts. She gets terrible guilt as well.

BadMalibu · 01-01-2008, 05:18 PM

Charm-

Aside from what myself and the rest of the members have told you, I think the best thing would be to make sure you speak to your daughters therapist and ask him/her what suggestions they can give you to help you speak to your daughter so she doesn't have a full blown panic attack.

Please understand that each therapist is different and what works best for each person is different, so the only thing members here can do is offer you suggestions on how to talk to your daughter to help her calm her thoughts. I would also suggest speaking to some other parents of children that have OCD and asking them how they speak to their children to calm some of their thoughts. I don't know how many members here have children with OCD, but it would be a good idea to post a general message just to see if anyone else here is posting becuase their children have OCD.

Charmgirl · 01-01-2008, 07:26 PM

Thank you very much for all of your responses. You really offer great suggestions and advice. Happy New Year to you. A Happy OCD free one I hope. I hate the fact that we now need to wait a few weeks to see the therapist. I might have to change that right off the bat. The therapist explained that she is an intern working under the direction of a trained CBT. I really hope she has to offer what we need. My daughter and I did begin working together in a workbook that I ordered. We just finished 2 chapters and it is a really informative book geared for kids. That was the other problem that I had. Helping her with understanding what is happening. Thanks again

Linda in MI · 01-01-2008, 10:22 PM

Hi again Charmgirl,

I am the mother of the 11-year-old boy with OCD. First of all, if I were you, I would try to change your daughter's appointment to an earlier date. If you tell them that it is an "emergency," they might possibly see her sooner. (That is what our psychiatrist said when I asked her how we could have got in to see her without such a long wait initially.) Also, you will be able to talk to your daughter's therapist yourself, both in person and by phone, and that alone is extremely beneficial.

It is difficult to recommend any one thing that may help your daughter in the meantime. OCD is certainly not a logical disorder. Sometimes something will work, other times not. My son's therapist always suggests that I hold him and reassure him while he is having a panic attack or meltdown. (There were times when he felt that I was contaminated, though, and he would not even let me touch him!) I have found that distractions are helpful, too. The busier we are, the less he is apt to worry - usually.

We have read lots of children's books about OCD, anxiety, and worry, but have not found any that are very realistic. Most of them are stories about a child who is distressed, starts seeing a therapist, takes medication, and miraculously gets better. If you have a workbook that is informative, by all means use it. My son does understand that his bad feelings are caused by OCD, and is not confused about that anyway.

If you have any specific questions, please feel free to ask. I will try to think of some more definitive things we do when my son is stressed. (And he has been extemely stressed the past few weeks!) It is not an easy disorder to deal with, but hang in there. Sometimes I don't think I can handle watching him suffer any longer, but then I manage. I know - it is heartbreaking. When your daughter does start seeing a therapist, they will have a better understanding of what is going on and can guide you in how to calm her.

Good Luck and stay in touch. Linda