is this OCD or is there something wrong with me - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

allhonest · 01-07-2008, 01:00 PM

Since Christmas I have had this extremely anxiety provoking obsession that involves a question whether or not I should have sent an ex a merry Christmas message and what implications that might have in my life.
Rationally, it is just nothing. But it feels like my life depends on it and I have ruminated for hours and days about it and sometimes it feels like the world might end because I sent the SMS. Ridiculous right?

Yesterday I was late for a meeting at work, and rationally that is a bad thing of course. But I FELT nothing about it. It didn't upset me at all emotionally.

So my question is this:
If I can get so upset by the thought that I sent an ex a Merry Christmas message, and not getting upset with myself when I was late for work, does that say something about me as a person or is this just OCD.

And here I go analyzing again. Wish it could stop.

twiceshy · 01-07-2008, 01:08 PM

I think being more concerned about the Xmas message than the work tardiness reflects your priorities, probably nothing more. I'd say there's more meaning in a possible relationship than in your job.

allhonest · 01-07-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twiceshy

I think being more concerned about the Xmas message than the work tardiness reflects your priorities, probably nothing more. I'd say there's more meaning in a possible relationship than in your job.

You might be right, and it was good to hear that it probably doesn't mean anything deeper about me as a person.

However, I have this idea that because I sent the text message I cannot relate to other people because I have "used up" my social stigma on sending her the message and not getting a positive reply. In some sort of a "magical" way, the fact that I sent the message will have catastrophic consequences for my relationships and my job.

I never got Christmas peace this year because I would ask my family members again and again whether or not it was right to send the message. I had to confess / tell what I was constantly analyzing with regards to the text message, seeking "the answer" that would make it feel right. Because it didn't feel right to send my ex such a pleasant merry Xmas message because she had been really nasty towards me and didn't deserve it. Is this because I have that "something is wrong" feeling? No one in my family could provide me with that answer, althought I talked about it for a week.

I am sad that Christmas went like this because previous years, Christmas has been really peaceful. And I am sad that I bothered my family members so much by it. They got really tired by it.

Is this OCD or what.

twiceshy · 01-07-2008, 02:14 PM

Christmas should be a good time for us all, but tends to be stressful, at least for me. As far as whether you have OCD, only a trained professional can know for certain. You may have taxed your family, but that's part of our duty to one another. I'm not sure about the "social stigma" part of your message, maybe you can elaborate?

allhonest · 01-08-2008, 08:52 AM

Social stigma is perhaps not the correct word. Social confidence might be the right word. I sort of lost my social confidence from that text message and I am desperate to get it back. Now I call family members 4-6 times a day to make them reassure me that nothing bad will happen because I sent the text message. My brother has become very upset with me now and he even cut me on the phone because he was sick of reassuring me about this seemingly non-issue.

What should I do?