Obsessive thought about death - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

purplegirl1 · 01-07-2008, 05:47 PM

As I write this, I feel guilty, but I had this horrible thought while on the phone with my mother. I thought " Oh good maybe she will die". I love my mom more than anything and I would be devastated if she die. IT is the complete opposite, I worry about her dying all the time (My father died when I was 10 I am 31 now).....I know that this is just a OCD intrusive thought but still this was so disturbing to me. I was going to confess to her and tell her the thought but I was able not to do that....and it did go away...(the anxiety went away)...anyone have any similar OCD thoughts?

twiceshy · 01-07-2008, 05:57 PM

About "confessing" these thoughts... I wouldn't do it. Communicating the thoughts may alleviate your anxiety short-term, but it'll negatively affect the relationship. You're accepting these intrusive thoughts as your own. If you can get quiet within yourself, you'll see they're not yours at all... just rubbish talk. I like to think of my mind as two sides of a freeway. My conscious self is on this side, the traffic flying by is my inner dialogue, and the other side is my subconscious. If you lessen the traffic you'll be able to see over to the other side.

ineedhelpasap21 · 01-07-2008, 06:06 PM

twiceshy your advice was very insightful. I find myself suffering from the confession compulsion and its enough to drive someone mad. Purplegirl i too get this feeling. The obsession about death. Theres really no reason to feel guilt because you of course didnt do anything wrong. Please dont feel guilty, its annoying! I know it is so annoying but you cant feel guilty for an unintentional thought. Its ocd and its irrational. Often your thoughts are the exact opposite of what you truly desire. Hope that helped a little

twiceshy · 01-07-2008, 06:31 PM

Years ago while seeing a psychologist to figure out what the heck was going on, he said referring to my psychotherapy: "You are halfway up the mountain. Everyone else is on the ocean floor." Although we didn't get as far as I'd hoped, I'll never forget that.

purplegirl1 · 01-07-2008, 06:53 PM

Thanks to both of you. And yes, I agree that confessing these thoughts would only alleviate my anxiety for short-term and in fact from my past experience, the anxiety will come back stronger....

It is just very disturbing to have thoughts that you know you don't mean. It is kinda weird but I guess this is just part of the OCD. I have my psychiatrist appt. tomorrow night, so good timing, LOL..

thanks again!