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Old 02-28-2008, 06:27 AM   #1
QZZ QZZ is offline
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QZZ HB User
not feeling liek yourself?

Hey guys,

Do any of you not recognize yourself? like you don't feel like you? It's hard to explain, but it's like if you look in the mirror you see someone else. Not physically, but like you feel like its not you. And you dont feel that closeness to the people around you, like loved ones and friends, like you did before. Like you are someone different and they feel further away.

Its kinda freaking me out. Like I am scared I am turning into someone else. Like loosing my mind. Then I am scared that if I do loose my mind maybe I am turning into what my fear is. Like some pyscho that is going to hurt someone.

I know this is my OCD and I am having a small spike right now so that is contributing to it with the anxiety and all. But it is a very disturbing feeling. Like I know who I am, I have been me my whole life. I know what I look like and I know what kind of person I am. But today I woke up and I was scared I wasnt me. I didnt feel like me. I talked to my mother and I am like, I feel distant different toward her. Like shes not my mother. Then I look in the mirror and I am like is that me? like i thought i looked sinister or something and it freaked me out. I am like OMG i am going to loose my mind and become someone else or something.

I was thinking back to memories and i am like they feel like someone elses memories.

Now, I know this isnt possible and I am me and its most likely my OCD mixed with some anxiety. Plus I just upped my meds and all this may be a factor.

But it is this paranoid feeling that is scaring me. Has anyone ever felt this? I hope I explained it right.

have a nice day everyone

 
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Old 02-28-2008, 06:58 AM   #2
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brandonsmom777 HB User
Re: not feeling liek yourself?

You explained that perfectly I think. This is exactly how I can describe myself feeling that past few months and I worry that I'm sick. I wonder if I have early alzheimers (I'm only 22) or maybe I have some kind of cancer that's making me go crazy or something like that. The hardest part for me is looking at the people I love, especially my son, and not wanting to look at them in the fear that each new time I look at them I will forget them more and more. It's almost like when I don't look at them I'm trying to preserve their face and self in my head. This has to be by far the worst obsession I've ever experienced and I have a hard time discerning whether or not it's OCD. But, I have to tell myself it is otherwise I don't think I could make it through this. I just got off of my meds ( I was on 50 mg of zoloft for about 2 months) and was complaining a lot of feeling of depersonalization and my doctor was trying to tell me that it was not my meds that were causing my symptoms but a lack of. So, I'm back to square one and confused as always. I have somewhat of a bias against medication not because of what I personally believe I don't think but mainly for a lot of people in my family, especially the ones I look up to the most, that tell me I just need to discipline my mind. I'm always on this roller-coaster and each day I'm just trying to "get by" and I'm so sick of it. The lack of support and understanding has if fact made me distant from some of my family and I think that is normal considering at the hardest times in my life they show such ignorance and don't take the time to know what's really wrong with me but offer an opinion anyway. The only advice I could give you is keep coming here and seeing other people's stories and compare them to your own. Part of CBT therypy is recognizing which thoughts are OCD and basically "nipping them at the bud" I know it's hard, each time I have a new obsession I think it's different this time. Maybe last time was my OCD, but this time is different and no one is taking me seriously and now I'm like the boy that cried wolf and I'm going to go insane and die lonely and isolated from everyone.....anyways, I know just how you feel, you're not alone. I'm considering going back on a low dose of meds just as an experiment to see if the things and ways I'm feeling are OCD (prozac actually worked the best for me) but I went off of it more so because of the worlds outlook on it. It almost seems like people think the weak-minded only take meds like this. True, people do abuse them I think and I think doctors over-prescribe them to people that don't really need them, but what about those that do? How does that make us look?

 
Old 02-28-2008, 05:01 PM   #3
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PinkNBlondePunk HB User
Re: not feeling liek yourself?

Since you've upped your meds, it is most likely the anti-depressants doing it (mixed with OCD).. it causes me to feel distant as well.

 
Old 02-29-2008, 12:30 AM   #4
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luckysky18 HB User
Re: not feeling liek yourself?

brandonsmom777, you described EXACTLY how I feel! I thought I had Alzheimer's...and I'm only 27. I had an MRI recently, and I was told no Alzheimer's. I just feel like I'm losing my mind...I can definitely relate to the first post as well. How do we get better???

 
Old 02-29-2008, 06:31 PM   #5
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Sari05 HB User
Re: not feeling liek yourself?

Quote:
Originally Posted by QZZ View Post
Hey guys,

Do any of you not recognize yourself? like you don't feel like you? It's hard to explain, but it's like if you look in the mirror you see someone else. Not physically, but like you feel like its not you. And you dont feel that closeness to the people around you, like loved ones and friends, like you did before. Like you are someone different and they feel further away.

Its kinda freaking me out. Like I am scared I am turning into someone else. Like loosing my mind. Then I am scared that if I do loose my mind maybe I am turning into what my fear is. Like some pyscho that is going to hurt someone.

I know this is my OCD and I am having a small spike right now so that is contributing to it with the anxiety and all. But it is a very disturbing feeling. Like I know who I am, I have been me my whole life. I know what I look like and I know what kind of person I am. But today I woke up and I was scared I wasnt me. I didnt feel like me. I talked to my mother and I am like, I feel distant different toward her. Like shes not my mother. Then I look in the mirror and I am like is that me? like i thought i looked sinister or something and it freaked me out. I am like OMG i am going to loose my mind and become someone else or something.

I was thinking back to memories and i am like they feel like someone elses memories.

Now, I know this isnt possible and I am me and its most likely my OCD mixed with some anxiety. Plus I just upped my meds and all this may be a factor.

But it is this paranoid feeling that is scaring me. Has anyone ever felt this? I hope I explained it right.

have a nice day everyone
Hi Qzz,

I hope that you are feeling better. I understand how you feel, because alot of times I don't feel like myself either. I feel like I am not normal, I feel like I can't handle alot of things, I just don't feel like me. I feel like I am not apart of my family. It's really hard for me to describe. Also I am really paranoid, like I feel that other people are out to get me, and the feeling wouldn't go away. I just want to let you know that you are not alone in this person, alot of people feel this way too. I don't know if there is treatment for that or not, but I am sure that there is. Maybe you should talk to a doctor about how you feel like a Psychiatrist or Psychologist. Getting the right professional help really does help. Also I really think that you should keep on posting on this board because we care and understand about what you are going through.

I hope that this post is helpful to you. Take care and good luck!

 
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