charl1eb

I'm now becoming more aware of ocd and I am starting to believe strongly in the possibility of me having it. I am 19, and I jsut recently contacted my doctor and presented him with the classic ocd symptoms that are in the media which accompany me. They are not as bothersome as it could be but I have heard other symptoms that I have and I did not think were related to ocd, and I am thinking of sharing with my doctor. I have told him that I do these things(not to bothersome)

• step over cracks
  count
  play with numbers
  check myself for daily items by patting myself(keys wallet and check for watch and cell) I do this at least three times a day even though I am almost always sure I have them
  I check to see If I locked a door at least 2 or 3 times, knowing I have
  I check my zipper 3 times
  when I check the time I side track and play with the time in my head(the numbers)
  I am never sure of something I know have done(it frustrated my fiance, because it bewildered her as to how I could not know if I did something. hopefully since we both know now that it might be an illness, she will be more understanding and I will not feel bad

those are the things that I have addressed to the dr.;he perscribed me zoloft, but I have not told him about these other things I recently lrnd by a coworker at my new job who has had ocd for more than 20 years.......... she was explaining intrusive thoughts as a symptom and I could definitely relate.
I am contemplating on telling my doc my thoughts, and other rituals

• I always check my back seat in fear of a killer or criminal in the back seat
  when I go into a room, usually on when I am alone...when I open the door I look between the cracks where the hinges are to see if some one is behind it
  I open shower doors and shower curtains
  when ever someone touches me with wet hands I fear it is a harmful fluid or blood
  if I step on a sock or a wet sock, or if I step on chip and hear a crunch, A. I think I have stepped on a dead animal, or B. killed a roach
  sometimes I continuously try to pop my knuckles or neck
  somtimes I check and re-check the time over and over in a matter of seconds
  I repeat a message to a person several times not being sure of telling them
  I stress when I am not aware of the time
  I pop acne that has already been popped
  I know picking at acne is bad so i repeat in my head, dont do it dont do it, but end up doing it, it is a ritual now when I walk into a bathroom
  ---intrusive thoughts(the scariest and most aggravating symptom)--------
  not any more(but I once feared I was gay......I had thoughts in my head, arguments in my head, images
  though I know my fiance would never hurt me; sometimes when I walk into a room I know she is in; I have violent images in my head that when I see her in the room she will be coming at me with a weapon
  for a matter of fact I often vision any type of violent image before I walk through a doorway in any room
  sometimes I see me harming my sweet dogs and it scares me, because I know I could never harm my dogs..it's so bad I want to cry.
  when I do something wrong I feel uneasy unless I repeat it right.
  I do not wish to harm myself, but sometimes I vision me doing so
  when I drive around curves I fear that around the curve is a violent image such as a human body
  I vision me driving off bridges
  bridges collapsing

I am scared of these things and amazed that they are related to ocd. I am telling my doc the next time I see him. I dont want to go claiming this disorder unless I really have it, so do these things sound related this sucks, but I am pleased to know that I am not just an awful person