I have OCD, which manifests itself in all the classic ways, such as intrusive thoughts to harm, contamination, need to do something until it feels right, etc.
But many times I get these strange feelings like I am in another world. I can't really explain it. It's like a rush of emotional feeling in a moment that changes my whole perception from the usual. For a brief moment I feel like an emotional dynamic is added to life, then it fades in a second. This sort of thing may happen up to ten times a day on a bad day and always creates anxiety.
And at night before falling asleep, I begin to hear voices in my mind before I fall asleep and hundreds of changing scenes flash through my mind, along with the sort of feelings I mentioned already, like a different emotional feeling goes with each scene.
I've sometimes thought maybe it was something like schizophrenia, but I have no other symptoms of Schizophrenia, but I clearly have textbook OCD.
I usually have a few bad days a month like this, but when I am suffering with these intrusive waves of feelings it makes me wonder if I will lose contact with reality. It's makes me think at those times I may be suffering from a mild form of pyschosis.
Anyone else experience this and any suggestions on treatment?
Hi Jeremy! First off, let me say - I really DON'T think you'll lose contact wth reality. OCD doesn't do that, it just makes you obsess about that the possibility that you will. I don't know, maybe you've heard this before, but I read that for OCD folks the no. 1 fear is of becoming schizophrenic. I've got pretty classic OCD too, and I know for me that was a HUGE worry - and probably for most of the rest of us too. So, you're definitely not alone
Your post sounded totally familiar to me. I think I might know that "other world" deal you're describing. Huh - and now that I try to describe it, I've got no idea how - I guess, kinda floaty and awful. When I was a little kid I thought of it as being a pink blob, floating through pink liquid but under intense pressure... Yikes! Sorry, I know that sounds really weird. But, could that be anything like what you're experiencing? I'm sorry; it doesn't sound like fun.
For the last few years I've been going to sleep with headphones and music on. I think it helps to drown out the totally random sentences/pictures... and geez, that stuff can be alarming! I'm kinda happy to hear that this happens to somebody else too - well, not happy! But, it makes me feel calmer about it at any rate, so thanks for sharing.
I'm sorry you're feeling bad from this! I just wanted to let you know, I've been there too - and I am POSITIVE this kind of thing is just the OCD, the really nasty, troublesome self-doubting aspect of it. In my opinion, it's by far the worst part.
Hi Jeremy! First off, let me say - I really DON'T think you'll lose contact wth reality. OCD doesn't do that, it just makes you obsess about that the possibility that you will. I don't know, maybe you've heard this before, but I read that for OCD folks the no. 1 fear is of becoming schizophrenic. I've got pretty classic OCD too, and I know for me that was a HUGE worry - and probably for most of the rest of us too. So, you're definitely not alone
Your post sounded totally familiar to me. I think I might know that "other world" deal you're describing. Huh - and now that I try to describe it, I've got no idea how - I guess, kinda floaty and awful. When I was a little kid I thought of it as being a pink blob, floating through pink liquid but under intense pressure... Yikes! Sorry, I know that sounds really weird. But, could that be anything like what you're experiencing? I'm sorry; it doesn't sound like fun.
For the last few years I've been going to sleep with headphones and music on. I think it helps to drown out the totally random sentences/pictures... and geez, that stuff can be alarming! I'm kinda happy to hear that this happens to somebody else too - well, not happy! But, it makes me feel calmer about it at any rate, so thanks for sharing.
I'm sorry you're feeling bad from this! I just wanted to let you know, I've been there too - and I am POSITIVE this kind of thing is just the OCD, the really nasty, troublesome self-doubting aspect of it. In my opinion, it's by far the worst part.
I hope you feel better soon! Keep us posted -
Thanks.
I do worry about losing my mind or having schizophrenia. My greatest fear is losing my mind or killing a loved one - like snapping and killing - as I get a lot of violent obsessions, which I consider the worst part of OCD.
I can't say I relate to the Pink blob example... It's more like this... Have you ever heard a song from years ago and suddenly a wave of feelings come over you when you hear it, feelings you used to feel one summer in the past? It's like that, but I've never felt these feelings in the past. Just a wave of strange new feelings overcome me for a second making me feel I'm losing contact with reality, but as fast as they come they usually leave, although some days they'll linger for a few hours, which troubles me. Almost like a hallucination of feelings. When they linger in my mind for hours, it's hard for me to focus and the mind feels clouded, and I just wait out the storm, holding onto the stern of the ship that is about to break up, but if I can just fall asleep for awhile, then I make it through the storm sane.
When it comes to the random sentences/images before falling alseep, I get exactly that. I also get them when it's quiet, especially when there is a buzzing of a fan or the vibration of something, even running water. But if I am listening to music or talking then it instantly stops. Also, if I'm in absolute silence without any buzzing, then I don't really hear them. For some reason vibrations of sound put on the robe of a voice in the mind, which say random meaningless things. I've always had this problem, but it seems louder now, which could be from becoming so skilled at hearing them by worry.
What worries me most about all of this are those nights when the feelings hover over me and the images and phantom voices in the mind seem to be trying to take over my consciousness. On those nights I only wait it out until I fall asleep and wake up feeling better.
I have OCD, which manifests itself in all the classic ways, such as intrusive thoughts to harm, contamination, need to do something until it feels right, etc.
But many times I get these strange feelings like I am in another world. I can't really explain it. It's like a rush of emotional feeling in a moment that changes my whole perception from the usual. For a brief moment I feel like an emotional dynamic is added to life, then it fades in a second. This sort of thing may happen up to ten times a day on a bad day and always creates anxiety.
And at night before falling asleep, I begin to hear voices in my mind before I fall asleep and hundreds of changing scenes flash through my mind, along with the sort of feelings I mentioned already, like a different emotional feeling goes with each scene.
I've sometimes thought maybe it was something like schizophrenia, but I have no other symptoms of Schizophrenia, but I clearly have textbook OCD.
I usually have a few bad days a month like this, but when I am suffering with these intrusive waves of feelings it makes me wonder if I will lose contact with reality. It's makes me think at those times I may be suffering from a mild form of pyschosis.
Anyone else experience this and any suggestions on treatment?
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