I am 20 years old.For the past few years i've had an obsession that i might sexually hurt children, or might want to hurt them. This is difficult for me to write because i worry about what people will think of me. I've explained it to my thearapist, but i always feel there are bits i'm missing out, it's like i'm always looking for a reason that i may actually be evil.
I keep thinking i feel arousal when i'm near children. I don't know if i do, but i think what if i am feeling something. so now when i am near children, i am constanly wondering if i am feeling arousal. It may sound strange, but how do you know?
When i am with my boyfriend, i enjoy sex with him, but i obsess over, am i feeling turned on enough, is this what arousal feels like. I know i enjoy it, but i think maybe i should feel more aroused or somthing, like if i'm not that is a sign i am actually attracted to children. I find it hard to relax during sex with my boyfriend, because i am constanly asking myself if i am enjoying it enough, but i know i am, but the questions are still there.
I also worry about what if i am attracted to my 15 year old sister. it's really upsetting, because i used to hang out with her alot, but now i feel so uncomfortable being around her. because i obsess over am i feeling aroused atall near her.
Can anyone relate to all of this? I'm terrified i am just a pervert