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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 08-20-2008, 03:40 PM   #1
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meredith100 HB User
OCD and relationships/dating - what's a real concern and what's just ocd?

Hi all,
I'm 23 and have OCD that has gotten much better but never disappeared. I've dated before but never that seriously. I recently started dating a great guy and at first I was so excited about it, we have great physical and emotional chemistry. But then I started thinking that I never had a crush on him before (we'd been friends for years) and quesitioning whether I "really" liked him. I keep obsessing about his appearance and whether or not I am "really" attracted to him. Now all the great feelings are fading and I'm just feeling anxious. But he's a wonderful exceptionally caring guy and it was so good at first, that my hunch is this is just OCD. But a part of me thinks, no, this is your correct gut instinct telling you that while he's great, you just dont have romantic feelings for him. I can't tell which is which. Please- any advice on what to do? I keep thinking what if I dont REALLY like him? I just maybe like the idea of being in a relationship, and I like the sex, to be honest. Can anyone relate or offer any advice? I keep wanting an answer as to whether I really like him, and while that seems straightforward, I can no longer see clearly.

 
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Old 08-31-2008, 01:31 PM   #2
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purplegirl1 HB Userpurplegirl1 HB Userpurplegirl1 HB Userpurplegirl1 HB User
Re: OCD and relationships/dating - what's a real concern and what's just ocd?

Meredith,

I am 31 (married for 4 years). I have been Diagnoses w/ OCD since age 20. I have been through that thought MANY times!! I really believe that this is your OCD. I find that when things are going really well, OCD pops up to ruin it. Anytime you have a "what if though" or that "doubting feeling" all of a sudden...it is OCD and NOT REAL. Think about this...I am copying and pasting what you wrote:

"I recently started dating a great guy and at first I was so excited about it, we have great physical and emotional chemistry. But then I started thinking that I never had a crush on him before (we'd been friends for years) and quesitioning whether I "really" liked him. I keep obsessing about his appearance and whether or not I am "really" attracted to him"


Can you see that this statement above is just OCD??

 
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Old 09-04-2008, 07:08 AM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Manila, Philippines
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sweetmarie14 HB User
Re: OCD and relationships/dating - what's a real concern and what's just ocd?

i am actually fighting over this thought as well. i am not officially diagnosed as an OCD patient but im sure i am going through most of the symptoms of having it. it's just that i haven't been able to visit a therapist yet about this.

i love my boyfriend and i hate it everytime i doubt my feelings for him. i am very sure it's the OCD bothering me, it's not the real thing. i am very happy to be with my boyfriend but i become sad at times, because OCD makes me feel guilty - you know feeling bad about yourself asking as to why you were able to come up with those kind of thoughts. i usually have the obsession of asking "are we really meant to be?" or "do i still love him?". im scared to have these thoughts in my head because i don't wanna be apart from him but why am i having these thoughts? it's like having a small voice in your head telling you that you have to doubt about it or giving you a picture in your head that you're hurting him but deep inside i know, that i would never want to do that! it's affecting my emotions. i am bothered about it. i just wanna be happy right now. i wanna be free from these thoughts. i have wasted too much time just thinking about it all day long. i want to enjoy what we are having right now, but how can i do that if i'm prisoned to this OCD problem.

and about the other symptoms of ocd, i guess i also have them. not really a neat freak ocd person. not the type who washes hands from time to time. but i do have a lots of habits that may really be too irrational.

i count a lot. starting from 1 to 9. i don't feel much for even numbers. i usually think of 9 and 7 as my number.

i can't write anything on my notebook, i'm scared i'll mistakenly write a single letter. if i did, i'll surely tear the paper, until i get it perfectly.

i usually follow a certain pattern printed on the tiles, vinyl and carpets whenever i walk.

i prefer sorting things out in a certain order, pattern accoring to color, sizes and shapes.

and one thing that really bothers me like i said: having unpleasant thoughts towards the people i love the most such as my parents, my siblings and my boyfriend. i didn't mean every unpleasant thing i think about them but i can't really help it.

i'm just so happy right now, knowing i am not the only person who experiences this kind of situation. i can feel that i am somehow normal.

we are actually fighting the same battles and i wish us good luck!
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sweetmarie14
Manila, Philippines

 
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