gin0297

I just wonder why i have to have this and it all came on me after i lost my bf of whom i was suppost to get married to... its like i have no peace in my life at ALL what i have wrong with me is driving me nuts and i feel like no one would really love me, i feel like im never going to get married, im without a job now i take anxiety med 2 times daily and 2 different antidepressants and nothing works i even dink sometimes because i feel so hopeless.. i feel like God doesn't care for me anymore or even is there, i wonder why me and why do i have to go through this hell after all iv'e been through already.. i don't feel like a normal person i wish i could think right i feel so hopeless that i just want to give up and drink... how could anyone want to be with someone who is going through hell and takes all this med and is a very weak person... sadly i use to not be, i use to be the strong one. i'm so down right now i just had to come here and write not that it will do me anymore good then anything else has because i've been to a counsilor maybe not the best one in the world since she didnt talk alot but i'm at my roads end just feeling like why me, why this, i just want to be happy like i use to be and go on with my life with not this hanging over my shoulders... and what hurts is me thinking if the guy i was dating new all the pain i go through each day he wouldn't blink an eye at me... i feel so unloved because of that reason... i feel that way... does this stuff ever get any better? i dont want to drink my problems away for an hour i just wish for one thing to not have this and to be nomal and happy, can ANYONE relate to me? >>>> Broken