Pregnant .... Ocd ... Fear of intentionally hurting a baby - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Suzanne 4444 · 01-26-2009, 08:04 PM

I am pregnant and due to have my baby in the next two weeks.. I have horrible instrusive thoughts all the time to the point the guilt shame etc is driving me insane and I cant sleep and dont want to live with myself.

I have a fear of hurting someone ... I doubt myself and wonder if I would ever be capable of doing something.

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I know I need to get help for others more than myself but I am now stuck with this horrible guilt for the rest of my life. Allthough I know there is medication to over come the feelings or visions I have but nothing will make me forget what I thought that day

.PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME .Am i evil am i a danger to people even if i am not now would i have been then.... this is driving me crazey!!!!!!!

writeleft · 01-26-2009, 09:10 PM

Suzanne,

Now is the time to share these feelings with your doctor, so he/she can help you before this baby is born. If you cannot express these thoughts, print this post, and bring it to your doctor.

These kinds of feelings could put you and your baby at extreme risk, and you need help to handle all this before the baby comes. Once the baby is here, stress, and the adjustment to motherhood could add to your intrusive thoughts. Reaching out is the right thing to do...So please, call your doctor immediately. You and your child deserve it.

I'll watch for your posts Suzanne, ok?

Suzanne 4444 · 01-26-2009, 11:56 PM

Thankyou for your reply.... Do you think I would have been capable of hurting someone? Am I evil?? I just cant understand where it has come from when I so strongly dont want these feelings I have been lying awake again thinking about it not the instrusive thoughts just the guilt again..... it really is driving me insane.. I actually have an appointment with the midwife today... Should I discuss it with her?

pankles · 01-27-2009, 06:23 AM

I think it is the fact that your thoughts repulse you that they become more intrusive. The thoughts are generated because they cause you emotional distress, and in a way they feed off that reaction.

There is a cycle of thought-emotional reaction-thought etc. Since thoughts will come whether we want them or not, you should work on the emotional reaction. In my experience the more you try to deny the thoughts the more they plague you. When they come just remember that it is a part of your mind trying to torture you. Don't give it the satisfaction.

Suzanne 4444 · 01-27-2009, 10:04 AM

Hi thanks again for all the replys... it is getting worse serioulsy worse.... I

I feel like I am sick in the head I really do. He keeps telling me Im such a nice person and he knows I wouldnt do these things but I am beginning to believe I could.. thats what worries me... I cant live with this guilt any longer..I cant get over it I dont think I will even if I see the doctor these thooughts are evil to me and therefore make me feel like an evil person do you think it is possible for such thoughts to be forgotten about??? ...