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Old 11-24-2009, 05:27 PM   #1
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Melyisa4c HB User
Relationship from an ocd point of view Help!

So i'm with this guy that has ocd ... it hasn't been too long but he does have many doubts about the relationship... i've said well time hasn't really passed and he agrees. Some of his doubts have been that he thinks he only likes me for the physical and that he doesn't think he feels anything else... yet later he tells me he needs me and he thinks he's in love with me but ocd keeps putting thoughts in his head. Well now he's not sure if he does want to be with me in a relationship but rather as friends even though he says his feelings are of more than friendship. Maybe he says he needs to slow things down cause he feels rushed... i haven't rushed anything but he himslef is wanting for months to have passed by so that he would know for sure how he feels. Now he also says he might not be ready for a relationship with anyone and i said i understand but he still wants to be friends... This is where i need advice... Most ppl say ignore him and leave so that he'll miss you and come back but i don't know how that'll work with someone who has rocd... should i stay friends or should i leave so that he'll realize to appreciate? With rocd i know he won't always be sure...and there'll always be doubts...so any advice? Stay friends or just ignore till he comes back... hopefully.

 
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Old 02-03-2010, 03:58 AM   #2
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mac1 HB User
Re: Relationship from an ocd point of view Help!

hi i am the same as you i have suffered this for seven years she loves me she tells me so but the next day she will break it off . i would not chase if i didnt love her deeply .we have a great relationship a lot of the time .but this happens upto 5 times a year its happening now the anxioty is that bad that now i am seeing a psyc for post tromatic stress . while she says she doesn.t need help yet she has not been back to the psyc for 15 years . so if its not to late you take action before you end up like me .

 
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Old 02-11-2010, 08:23 AM   #3
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kpajtas HB User
Re: Relationship from an ocd point of view Help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melyisa4c View Post
So i'm with this guy that has ocd ... it hasn't been too long but he does have many doubts about the relationship... i've said well time hasn't really passed and he agrees. Some of his doubts have been that he thinks he only likes me for the physical and that he doesn't think he feels anything else... yet later he tells me he needs me and he thinks he's in love with me but ocd keeps putting thoughts in his head. Well now he's not sure if he does want to be with me in a relationship but rather as friends even though he says his feelings are of more than friendship. Maybe he says he needs to slow things down cause he feels rushed... i haven't rushed anything but he himslef is wanting for months to have passed by so that he would know for sure how he feels. Now he also says he might not be ready for a relationship with anyone and i said i understand but he still wants to be friends... This is where i need advice... Most ppl say ignore him and leave so that he'll miss you and come back but i don't know how that'll work with someone who has rocd... should i stay friends or should i leave so that he'll realize to appreciate? With rocd i know he won't always be sure...and there'll always be doubts...so any advice? Stay friends or just ignore till he comes back... hopefully.

 
Old 02-11-2010, 08:26 AM   #4
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kpajtas HB User
Re: Relationship from an ocd point of view Help!

OH MY GOSH.... Your story is word for word mine! I am in the same boat right now as you are. Part of me says walk away so he will miss me then the other part says that this isn't his fault but rather the OCD.
ugh...

 
Old 02-14-2010, 02:09 AM   #5
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mac1 HB User
Re: Relationship from an ocd point of view Help!

HI i have been here so many times its not funny i have recently got back together with my partner but im walking a tight rope we kissed and made up but she is controlling everything at the moment. i have just read a book called sleeping with rocd which i have found to be a bit of a break through it explains how an rocd sufferer thinks and how to get through the walls .my partner has a lot of stress which brings on her cycle of rocd. the book can be downloaded so give it a google i got a lot out of it. my partner has done this about 3/5 times a year for 7 years and has only came back to me once of her own accord . they have too much pride they feel shame for what they have done and and sorry for you claiming alot of the time that you deserve better . my up bringing has confused me some what too because my mother is a devoted christian an the head of chaplincey at the hospital and my father is not he is a electronic engineer and bases his life completely on logic so my head tells me logically i should quit but my mothers side tells me never loose faith or give up on those you love . hope things go well for you.

 
Old 02-21-2010, 01:26 AM   #6
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looking4hope1 HB User
Re: Relationship from an ocd point of view Help!

Melyisa4c,

You and your boyfriend both have things that you need to do. Melyisa4c, you need to be supportive & encourage him no matter what comes out of his mouth.

I have OCD. I have thought like your boyfriend about my girlfriend.

However, your boyfriend needs to be responsible & get help. If a psychiatrist recommends medication, he should go for it.

I heard Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be good for people with OCD but I don't have much experience with it. You might want to check it out.

Good Luck!

 
Old 02-25-2010, 10:44 PM   #7
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Cozimafighta HB User
Re: Relationship from an ocd point of view Help!

if you love him, and are pretty sure he has ocd try and stick it out - get him to get help . My wife nearly left and it would of been the saddest thing in my life even though i thought i don't love her at the time ( ocd did this ). i know it's hard because at the end of the day he could be making it all up, but i'm pretty sure you wuold somehow be able to tell the difference. i don't want you to feel guilty for wanting to leave especially if it's too hard for you. But relationship ocd has ruined plenty of relationships and until you know it's definetely rocd - it's hard to give up a relationship otherwise.

He needs to get help if you suspect he has ocd, especially rocd. Someone who knows about relationship ocd and deals with people who have rocd. i would try and find a psych who specialises in ocd.

 
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