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Old 03-15-2010, 07:40 PM   #1
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mkp1988 HB User
Do I have Pure OCD

Ok, this may seem ridiculous to all of you, but I really don't know what else to do and I feel like I have been going crazy these past few days. I have been having constant thoughts lately of hurting my brother, which really upsets me. I don't want to have these thoughts, and I know I would never act on these thoughts, but I'm still for some reason afraid that I would. This really frustrates me, because then I think: "Well if I can control my actions and I don't want to hurt my brother, than why do I think about this?" I just can't make the thoughts go away and I feel like a horrible person because of it. It's gotten to the point where I can't even concentrate on doing my work because I'm worried about these thoughts that keep entering my head. I just thought I was a bad person, but then, because of course I researched it on the internet, I saw something about intrusive thoughts and pure OCD. This seems to make sense to me, because the whole reason I started thinking about this is because I saw a program on schizophrenia and in it, these people wanted to hurt their siblings. So first I was really worried that I was going to get schizophrenia and when I alleviated my fear on that, the fear went to hurting my sibling becuase I saw these kids wanted to do it and now I can't get the thought out of my head.
It really bugs me, because this has happened before. Not with violent thoughts, but with worrying about my future. I was worried for almost an entire semester about whether I was choosing the right major. Now, I know everyone worries about this every once and awhile, but I worried about it almost everyday. However, I was eventually able to get over it so I wrote it off as me worrying too much but now with these thoughts, I'm not so sure. I know these thoughts are not normal and I know that I love my brother and would never act on these horrible thoughts, but they still plague me. It just really frustrates me that these thoughts keep rolling around in my head. It's like my brain fixates on the one thing that completely freaks me out, and no matter what I do, I can't get it to fixate on something else.
If anyone could give me any advice on whether you think I have pure OCD or am just worrying too much, I would greatly appreciate it. I know no one on here can officially diagnose me, but I would still appreciate any information ya'll have to give. I am just really freaking out right now, and it's getting to the point that I can't really enjoy my life right now.

 
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:11 PM   #2
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fadeaway HB User
Re: Do I have Pure OCD

What you've described definitely sounds like Pure obsessional OCD. It takes the thing that you fear most and tries to tell you that it's true. It's horrible I'm pure O too.

 
Old 03-16-2010, 12:40 PM   #3
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mkp1988 HB User
Re: Do I have Pure OCD

thank you so much for replying! I just wanted to get someone else's opinion because sometimes I feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion, but these thoughts feel so real to me. They have made me so upset over the past few days that I have broken down crying and I feel like an emotional wreck. I really hate it.

 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:41 AM   #4
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ucs412 HB User
Re: Do I have Pure OCD

That is actually what you have. I have the same thing. It's just terrible. I've been a mess for months over this. It for some reason makes you feel like an awful person, but it's not you it's the OCD. I'm reading the book "Imp of the Mind". If you can buy it helps to think you aren't going crazy! I know where you are at.....you aren't alone in this battle. I feel sick to my stomach today b/c of everything. Are you on any anti-depressants yet?

 
Old 03-20-2010, 08:02 PM   #5
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Re: Do I have Pure OCD

I understand what you are going through. I have been dealing with pure ocd for many years. You have pure ocd. It takes something that is so terrible and stirs it up in your head. Second guessing every thought and emotion. I have actually been doing really well with my "thoughts" for a few years now. Very rarely do they pop up, and when they do, I am able to let them go. Mine revolved around my children. And, like you, the researching and even the nightly news made my ocd flare up. I just feel for you because the ocd is such a monster !! Just always tell yourself, "It's not me, it's the ocd." You are not a bad person. I once asked my husband about what types of bad thoughts he had. (hadn't told him mine yet) And, you know what, a few of them sounded alot like mine. It's just that he doesn't suffer from ocd. His mind dismisses them as soon as they enter. We have the same types of thoughts as everyone else. Our ocd brain just grabs hold of them and won't let go. You aren't going to lose control. You aren't going to do any of those horrible things. How do I know. You would have never shown any concern over the thoughts. You wouldn't have come on this board seeking advice. You are a good person who just happens to suffer from ocd. Sorry my reply is long. But, I suffered so badly from the thoughts. And, I felt so alone. Things that have helped me along the way.....I found a hobby. o.k., I found too. I started landscaping in my yard, and now each spring, I plant so many beautiful flowers. What a sense of accomplishment!! I also started raising chickens and ducks. Something I would have never thought I would do. I went to therapy for a few years. But, I found that getting a couple books on ocd helped so much. I would even take them with me everywhere. Use this board !! I did, and the people around me here were amazing. I am also on meds, and have been for several years. My goal is to some day be off the meds. Take care of yourself!! And, it's not you, it's the ocd. It's that evil monster of an illness.

 
Old 03-22-2010, 08:40 PM   #6
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shedd45 HB User
Re: Do I have Pure OCD

i have it to its horrible

 
Old 04-10-2010, 08:48 PM   #7
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cmlw HB User
Lightbulb Re: Do I have Pure OCD

Quote:
Originally Posted by mkp1988 View Post
Ok, this may seem ridiculous to all of you, but I really don't know what else to do and I feel like I have been going crazy these past few days. I have been having constant thoughts lately of hurting my brother, which really upsets me. I don't want to have these thoughts, and I know I would never act on these thoughts, but I'm still for some reason afraid that I would. This really frustrates me, because then I think: "Well if I can control my actions and I don't want to hurt my brother, than why do I think about this?" I just can't make the thoughts go away and I feel like a horrible person because of it. It's gotten to the point where I can't even concentrate on doing my work because I'm worried about these thoughts that keep entering my head. I just thought I was a bad person, but then, because of course I researched it on the internet, I saw something about intrusive thoughts and pure OCD. This seems to make sense to me, because the whole reason I started thinking about this is because I saw a program on schizophrenia and in it, these people wanted to hurt their siblings. So first I was really worried that I was going to get schizophrenia and when I alleviated my fear on that, the fear went to hurting my sibling becuase I saw these kids wanted to do it and now I can't get the thought out of my head.
It really bugs me, because this has happened before. Not with violent thoughts, but with worrying about my future. I was worried for almost an entire semester about whether I was choosing the right major. Now, I know everyone worries about this every once and awhile, but I worried about it almost everyday. However, I was eventually able to get over it so I wrote it off as me worrying too much but now with these thoughts, I'm not so sure. I know these thoughts are not normal and I know that I love my brother and would never act on these horrible thoughts, but they still plague me. It just really frustrates me that these thoughts keep rolling around in my head. It's like my brain fixates on the one thing that completely freaks me out, and no matter what I do, I can't get it to fixate on something else.
If anyone could give me any advice on whether you think I have pure OCD or am just worrying too much, I would greatly appreciate it. I know no one on here can officially diagnose me, but I would still appreciate any information ya'll have to give. I am just really freaking out right now, and it's getting to the point that I can't really enjoy my life right now.
hi my name is christy and i have ocd and i feel the same way about my kids and no i would never hurt them but still fear the thought it started when i saw the news about a women killing her kids and i was thanking as she said she did not no what she was doing i thoiught omg what if i do some thing like her and after that i have been haveing thought about that but i put my self in to life works for a week thay tould not to whatch anything that has killing in it of read any books but thay had to put me on med i go to thep and see the doc ocd sucks and it runs your life if you dont get help now it will get worse i have had ocd for all my life it started with me thanking i was gonning to die while i was small then in my teens i just wonted to kill my self now it the bad thought it sucks but we need help ill keep you in my prayers

 
Old 04-21-2010, 05:17 PM   #8
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Shadowski HB User
Re: Do I have Pure OCD

As a victim of this terrible afflication for many years - I'm of the opinion, that you are suffering from Pure OCD. I can really empathise with the emotional turmoil you are presently experiencing. I know all too well, the pain, misery, guilt and confusion that accompanies these unwanted, instrusive and basically ridiculous thoughts !

I have learned, that the thoughts themselves are irrelevant (everybody experiences them at times). The problem is worrying over them, bringing yourself to account because of them, and feeling guilty about them etc. Intellectually, we tell ourselves: how silly we are, and how we must "pull ourselves together". Until finally, we are left exhausted, confused, and sometimes clinically depressed by these racing mind ruminations.

What has really helped me to overcome the condition are: (1) Joining a support group. (2) Appropriate medication and a psychiatrist with empathy.
(3) Research on the topic. (4) Acceptance of this common ailment.

Remember, you are not alone, Pure O is a fairly common health issue.

The good news is that you will overcome this conditions - just like myself, and thousands of others like me.

Last edited by moderator2; 04-22-2010 at 03:10 PM.

 
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