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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 03-20-2010, 12:41 PM   #1
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angims HB User
Obsessed with death/dying

I constantly think about death. Not just mine but others, everyone's. My daughter was riding her bike and I just thought of her getting hit by a car and me running to her...head bleeding....i have weird thoughts when I use a knife that I will slip and slit my wrists, when i'm driving I think about how I could just run off the road or say hey that looks like a place where it would be good to run off the road and slam into something and die. When my husband's asleep and don't wake up right away I wonder if he's dead, i constantly think about hanging myself....i am not suicidal however, i just have the ideation and obsession with thinking about it. There are so many other instances...i could write all day.

 
Old 03-20-2010, 01:31 PM   #2
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ucs412 HB User
Re: Obsessed with death/dying

It sounds like you are depressed, although, you say you aren't suicidal, but you can still be depressed....not to the point of suicide. I was like that before (obessed w/people, myself dying), but now I have other issues that are far worse that I'm obessed about. I would talk to your doctor about this - they might prescribe a low dose of an anti-depessant.

 
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Old 03-20-2010, 03:15 PM   #3
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shedd45 HB User
Re: Obsessed with death/dying

have you been to the doctors?

 
Old 03-21-2010, 07:21 AM   #4
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Re: Obsessed with death/dying

I am obsessed with dying too- mine and all my loved ones and about aging.

I get freaked out about the passing of time- i will literally imagine myself (not purposely but it just happens) that i am older and missing my past and dying etc

so many weird thoughts, feelings, fears constantly all day long.

many are similar to yours.

 
Old 03-21-2010, 02:41 PM   #5
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Re: Obsessed with death/dying

Quote:
Originally Posted by ucs412 View Post
It sounds like you are depressed, although, you say you aren't suicidal, but you can still be depressed....not to the point of suicide. I was like that before (obessed w/people, myself dying), but now I have other issues that are far worse that I'm obessed about. I would talk to your doctor about this - they might prescribe a low dose of an anti-depessant.
Yes I am actually seeing a doctor...have been for years...been diagnosed with different things....just started to see a therapist last week, 2nd session is this week...haven't really got to the death obsession yet...And I am on Effexor...just started about a month ago, was on prozac for many years, effexor is soooo expensive, almost too, if I didnt have insurance I wouldn't be taking it. I just wanted to get some feedback, obviously its not normal for me to think this way, just wanted to see if anyone else was the same or similar. Thanks for responses...

 
Old 05-11-2010, 11:51 PM   #6
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baylight HB User
Re: Obsessed with death/dying

I’ve had this disorder since childhood. Religion kept it at bay from the time of my first “breakdown” at age 8 until about age 27. Or maybe it sort of displaced itself in other phobias, but nothing totally incapacitating. I still managed to socialize, finish college, etc. Then, around age 27, over the course of 4 months, it became a psychotic obsession requiring a 10 day hospitalization. I quickly responded to meds, however, and eventually went off them entirely after about six months. From then on I’ve had acute psychotic bouts of it at varying frequencies—2 years, 4 years, 7 years, etc.—that required meds for a short time but no hospitalizations, other than one night in the psych ward 4 years ago because that was the only way I could get my prescriptions refilled immediately. One amusing corollary of the condition is that when I’m doing well I have very vivid and extravagant sex fantasies (enough said) but since I’m a rather conservative person none that has sent me over the edge into the porn film industry or to jail (lol). In fact, my last recovery inspired me to write one of the most eloquent and likely perverted sex fantasies ever put to pen. Despite its high literary quality, I never published it, out of deference to my conservative values and educational employments. Anyway, I say "Live with it." It’s nothing that’s going to kill you or injure your health. I’m 55 now and healthier than 99% of males my age despite the mental sideshow.

Initial diagnosis upon hospitalization: Schizo-affective
10 days later: Major depression
Post hospital-present: Obsessional-compulsive

Occupation: High school teacher – English/Social Studies

 
Old 05-16-2010, 02:13 AM   #7
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Re: Obsessed with death/dying

I've felt like this since I was a small child. I can remember sitting on my dad's knee in floods of tears thinking about myself dying, and being terrified that my parents in particular will die.

Over time it's gradually subsided, but only because I've learnt not to think about it. If I let myself, I can still get really worked up about it so I just try and keep it at the back of my mind. It is really hard though. Sorry I can't offer any more advice

 
Old 12-06-2010, 04:17 PM   #8
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Re: Obsessed with death/dying

Quote:
Originally Posted by angims View Post
Yes I am actually seeing a doctor...have been for years...been diagnosed with different things....just started to see a therapist last week, 2nd session is this week...haven't really got to the death obsession yet...And I am on Effexor...just started about a month ago, was on prozac for many years, effexor is soooo expensive, almost too, if I didnt have insurance I wouldn't be taking it. I just wanted to get some feedback, obviously its not normal for me to think this way, just wanted to see if anyone else was the same or similar. Thanks for responses...
You may have ocd
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Old 12-14-2010, 06:14 PM   #9
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seekcalmness HB Userseekcalmness HB User
Re: Obsessed with death/dying

tulum, I can completely identify with this thought. I am particularly obsessed with getting older and that I haven't lived a "good enough" life. I am doing things that make me happy and have been doing well at them yet still seem to be obsessed with death and dying. I know how it feels and it can be really hard!! I am here if any of you want to talk!! Feel free to send me a message anytime.
seekcalmness

 
Old 12-14-2010, 06:20 PM   #10
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seekcalmness HB Userseekcalmness HB User
Re: Obsessed with death/dying

Oh and also, I don't believe I actually have any complusions. I feel that my OCD is more of "me in my own head" if that makes sense. Constant obsessing....but don't necessarily look to a compulsive behavior to make it go away, at least not overtly.

 
Old 12-14-2010, 07:28 PM   #11
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prayerbear38 HB User
Re: Obsessed with death/dying

I am diagnosed with phantaphobia. I have the same hangups of fear that you do.

On the other hand I have a skilled that who handles my moderate OCD thoughts. Wouldnt

it be nice to not have fear? Of course, "normal" people do suffer from anxiety to a

lesser degree?

Last edited by prayerbear38; 12-14-2010 at 07:29 PM.

 
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