Always feeling someone is trying to poison me - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

hopeful · 05-11-2001, 12:32 AM

I used to go to restaurants, partys, family get togethers, you name it. This may sound crazy, but, the last 6 months or so I am terrified to eat anything that anyone makes for me. If I turn my back on my drink for one moment I refuse to go back to it. And, retaurants are just asking for a panic attack to occur. I can't eat candy or food which has never been opened if it has holes or anything that doesn't look right. I feel like this total freak, that wipes everything off before I touch it afraid that something will soak in my skin that someone put on there. I am driving myself crazy with this. I have lost a ton of weight in this past month, because I am becoming afraid to eat altogether! All it takes is for me to convince myself that I have eatin poison and here comes the panic, so I feel like if I don't eat or drink then I can avoid panicking. I do have an appt. with a therapist next week, but I need more than that. I need some support from someone out there who is experiencing something somewhat similar. I am tired of these unrealistic thoughts. I mean, I leave my closed drink in the car, set the alarm, and then when I return am afraid to drink it. Realisticly I know it wasn't poisoned, but somehow I will convince myself that it is, and I would rather not drink it than take a chance of a panic attack.

Please Help
Very hopeful-not hopeless yet

Scaredy Kat · 06-02-2001, 07:33 AM

Hi Hopeful,

Please let me know how your therapy appointment went. I understand completely (I feel the same way about leaving your drink in the car) how you feel.

I read your post this morning, and then I took some time to post my own experience with this bizarre phobia. I hope you take a moment to read it.

I'm glad you're looking into some extra support, because you don't want to lose too much weight due to being so afraid.

You don't say how old you are.

Gee, if only we were phobia about something less impacting, like rattlesnakes (we don't have them in my area). Ha ha.

Please keep me posted on your therapy and how you're feeling. It can be rough, I know.

Cat82 · 06-27-2001, 09:54 AM

Hi, I know that it has been a little late in the month but I was wonderin' how you were doin'. I read the post, it sounds bad. Try to make your own food. You don't want to develop an E.D

(Trust me it ain't comedy) Take it easy, bye

[This message has been edited by Cat82 (edited 06-27-2001).]

Scaredy Kat · 06-28-2001, 06:38 AM

I too, have been checking back to this post to see how you are doing, Hopeful.

I read your reply to my post about my fear of being poisoned. Although I think it would be a good idea to exchange e-mails to discuss this together, in part, I find that a bit uncomfortable for me because I just don't talk about this one fear of mine, even though I want to. Please know that I have been thinking about you ever since you posted, and I was anxious to hear how your therapy appointment went.

I was hoping that more people would respond to my original post - I guess this fear isn't too prevalent!

I am currently looking into some type of cognitive behavior therapy for myself regarding this phobia. I did go back to see a therapist that I was seeing for a time last year, but I do not think I am going to get the kind of counseling I need to conquer this phobia.

Since my last post, nothing has changed for me, meaning, I am still stuck! But I have been a little braver this past week and have been eating some 'new' foods that, even though it's upsetting to me, I am pushing ahead on.

To CAT82, for me, even preparing and eating my own food is difficult for me because I am worried about someone tampering with the food in some way before I prepare it and cook it at home. I don't know if you had a moment to read my post on here about my fear of being poisoned or drugged, but it sure had a strong hold on me. I think it's kind that you are following up on Hopeful to see how things are.

I am a little sad that no-one but Hopeful has asked how I am doing or has any other advice for me, but I realize that that can be the nature of these boards some times.

Take care.

Cat82 · 07-18-2001, 10:42 AM

Hey, wazzup? How has it been? 'Ey I have the perfect

Try to grow your own food

Nobody tampers with the seeds. Check it like Holloween candy if you want. You can grow it in the house. All ya need is a high-power lamp as the sun...or put it on the window pane where the sun shine almost all day. Try it

[This message has been edited by Cat82 (edited 07-18-2001).]