invirginia

Well at the risk of sounding stupid (hey, that's one of my phobias!) I would like to share something a shrink told me when we were discussing my social phobia. He asked me to describe my worst case scenario. I did so. Then he proceeded to ask: "And then what?" and I would explain the horrible things that could happen, and then he said again "And THEN what?" and on and on and on, until finally by the end of the scenario, I could see that what I was afraid of happening wasn't so bad after all. For instance: What if I'm in public and I drop all my change on the floor at the candy machine and it rolls all over the place? And then what? Well, maybe one or two people will stop and stare or even laugh. And then what? Then I get embarrassed. (doctor: can you DIE from embarrassment? Me: no. Doctor: it's important to understand the difference between actual physical danger and phobically perceived danger) And then what? Then I guess I go back to my desk feeling stupid. And then what? Maybe I'll be so upset I get sick and have to go home. And then what? Etc Etc Etc. In other words, I realized that while some uncomfortable things may happen that I'm phobic about, almost NONE of them are actually life-threatening. And that's important to remember. I'm not trying to sound flippant about it--my problems are very real to me too--but you have to "keep big things big and little things little." Keep it in perspective. Don't feel silly for having a phobia, but just be determined to not let it rule your life. Everybody has something they are afraid of, it's not just you. Good luck everybody!