| | Constantly thinking- Destroying me.
hey, so im 19 and i find that i think about everything way too much- i guess everybody tells me so too. It's actually getting to the point where i waste hours a day sitting and thinking. just about everything- life, what we are, why we're here, you know- all that. it just burdens me Greatly that i have so much to ask and contribute to the thought pool... but i'll never get to speak with anyone important enough for it to matter- it's extremely depressing. i love science and space- time/ theories, im just no good at math really and have a procrastinating personality- i cant be a astronomer or astrophysicist. "never say never" i guess but... i'll just end up thinking and thinking about it instead of acting-
i've come to some pretty interesting beliefs/theories of my own just from all the analyzing but.. i just feel lost - what do i believe? how will i ever find the answers i want in my lifetime... if they're not discovered yet?
and it's not just thinking like that.. it's everything- every decision i make i look at it from all angles.
i feel depressed often- it gets real heavy too i guess, and i have no reason to be. that's the saddest part.
i've felt like this for ...about 4 years now maybe if i were to try and keep track?
and i finally a doc the other day about feeling real down often, he told me "probably a worry wort right? dont like large crowds? nervous?" and i said yea... so he gave me a pat on the back and sent me out- said stop thinking.
i just want to know if there's a term for this? or if it's worth it to bring up to my family doctor in 2 weeks time?
i cant even have decent dreams without waking up yelling or in tears. then the dream plagues me for a day after...
and i've also done significant damage to my hair while i sit and think...or just anywhere- i twist it so much. i cant stop- it's soothing almost?
im 19 and i can see my own hair comming out between my fingers? makes me want to break down...
so if anyone has got some thoughts to add. thanks alot