this is stacey. THANKS so much for your reply. alot you said we have tried or are currently doing. brandy was dx with bipolar just 2 wks ago along with the hairpulling. she is on new meds. and we see a counslor on a regular bases. we have only changed dr(psy.) twice one because we moved and one because the psy would not work with family dr. the psy wanted tests done and because of ins. the family dr had to give the go ahead. we have found a psy she seems to like. my daughter internalizes most of her feelings. we(family) very rarely say anything about her hair. once in awhile when she has not been pulling much we tell her it looks nice. we were told not to say anything good or bad( by a counslor) about her hair. i curl it every morning before school for her. she asks me to.
we are really having problems with the bipolar. her attitude, behavior. i have called the police twice in 2 wks because she went off hit walls kicked out windows, took off in the cold with only a tank top and shorts on. i just feel like i am getting to the end of my rope, not only me but the whole family. of course i will never give up. i love her to much for that. i normally give myself a time out. i walk out of the room. i have been learning about bipolar, so that is helping.
now i am really worried about the spring i will be going back to work(i am laided off now) my husband will be going to school, he was on ssi. i feel like i will have to hire a babysitter for a 15, almost 16 yr old girl. i can't comfortably leave my 13 and 15 home alone. i am going to try to cut back my sch. some but i am amanger at a golf course it tends to get really busy. of course my children are first but i also have to make a living. well thanks again it is great to have some one to talk to. thanks for letting me vent.
stacey
p.s. i did learn for your reply. thanks again
I came across this board by running searches in Google, and landed in a post of hers. This is my first post to this forum. I am hoping I can be of some small use to others here.
Since this is an OCD forum, obviously my concern is with some kind of obsession or compulsion, and like Ms Anon, mine regarding picking and scratching.
I have been in the throws of this for about as long as Ms Anon has been alive, if not longer. My legs and arms are scarred from scratching and picking. I am convinced I am quite mad. Mad as a hatter. I've been doing this for so long, I honestly don't remember how or why it started, although I do have some vague memories having to do with a late case of chicken pox. I don't remember - it was too long ago - too many lives ago - but I believe it started when I had a serious fever with chicken pox and I itched and itched and scratched and scratched and never stopped...
I do it quite absent-mindedly anymore. I detest it, though. It drives me batty. I itch all the time, and I scratch to make it stop. This, of course, only makes it worse - after much scratching scabs form, and then I scratch them because they too are uncomfortable. In the past few months, I have decided that I've had about enough of this, and now need to make my life better, forever, and stop this. But after a few decades of abuse, the rut is dug deeply and I feel trapped.
I have an aversion to the psychiatric profession, mostly on moral grounds. I think their idea of "normal" is completely screwed up. I'd rather be a raving loony dozing and drooling on thorazine than the dreary mediocretin that normalising psychology seems to dictate. I detest it also for its long and pathetic history of pathologising perfectly reasonable behaviour. Combined with psychiatry's frequent lack of scientific rigour in matters regarding many of its fundamental ideas, I have no faith and little interest in what that "profession" has to offer me.
But, at the same time, I need to stop scratching, and I think I need someone to help me do this, shrink or not. I'm not opposed to shrinks - I am just DEEPLY skeptical of anything they have to say.
Also: I have little money. Most of it goes into basic living expenses, my art, and my kid. So, I have no idea where to turn or who to talk to or what to do.
That's what brought me to this forum.
My wife, LUH1734, is in complete denial. I tell her what I do and she just thinks I have a skin condition...
I'm an itchy mess. Is there hope for one as me?
I feel like I'll be doing this forever, and that gets me very depressed. I can't even envision a time where I don't do this. constantly.
Sorry, The segment of Trich wasn't on 20/0 Friday Feb. 14th, but will let you know when it is going to be on as they do still plan on having a segment about it.
Meanwhile...here is some more info for those of you interested in Trich...
Lots of teens don't think about losing their hair because it seems like something only adults need to worry about. However, if you're a teen with trichotillomania, hair loss can be a serious reality.
Understanding Trichotillomania
Trichotillomania (pronounced: trick-oh-till-oh-may-nee-ah) is a type of psychological disorder known as an impulse control disorder. Impulse control disorders are characterized by an uncontrollable urge, or impulse, to do something that can bring harm to oneself or others.
People with trichotillomania repetitively pull their hair out at the root from places like the scalp, eyebrows, or eyelashes, sometimes causing baldness.
Research suggests that trichotillomania affects between 1% and 2% of the population. Girls are more likely to have trichotillomania than guys. Kids and teens are also more likely to have it than adults.
Symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) often go along with trichotillomania. People with OCD often have unwanted (and mostly untrue) thoughts that repeat themselves over and over and seem impossible to control. Having the unwanted thought creates a feeling of worry that is only relieved when that thought is followed by a certain behavior.
For example, a person may keep having the thought that she has too many germs or is super-dirty in some way, and she may feel the urge to wash her hands over and over again. Only then can she relieve (for a short while) the uncomfortable feeling of being dirty. Because people with trichotillomania often report uncomfortable feelings that are relieved for a while when hair is pulled out, some doctors consider trichotillomania a form of OCD.
Doctors aren't sure exactly what causes trichotillomania. It sometimes begins after a stressful event in a person's life, like the death of a loved one. Trichotillomania may run in families, and some theories suggest that it may be linked to certain neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain).
What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Trichotillomania?
Trichotillomania is characterized by certain symptoms:
irresistible urges to pull out the hair that the person feels she cannot ignore
a feeling of tension before pulling the hair, followed by a sense of relief or pleasure after pulling
noticeable hair loss
distress that interferes with a person's ability to perform her daily activities such as socializing or going to school
People with trichotillomania often pull out their hair one strand at a time and then inspect the strand after pulling it out. They sometimes chew the strands, twirl or play with their hair, or even eat their hair. People with trichotillomania sometimes engage in other behaviors such as compulsive nail biting or skin picking. They often have accompanying problems like depression.
Usually, trichotillomania causes the person who has it to feel embarrassed, frustrated, ashamed, or depressed. They usually try to hide their behavior from others, which can mean using makeup to hide their bald spots, wearing wigs, and avoiding social situations and activities that would expose their condition, like swimming.
The good news is that with proper treatment, which may involve therapy, medication, or a combination of both, most people with trichotillomania are eventually able to stop the impulses that lead to pulling out their hair. If you think you have trichotillomania, talk to a parent or another adult you trust who can help you to get treatment.
Well, you are most welcome. I do hope that I can be of some help, if for no other reason than my own experiences while a teenager with trich and OCD.
It sounds like you are doing everything right, though it is probably difficult for you to see that since you are within the situation.
I think that you made a very important comment in this last post. In fact, you may not even recognize it's importance. "I curl it every morning before school for her. she asks me to."
This is HUGE! Trust me... no matter how much she lashes out at you or other authority figures, the fact that she lets you touch her hair (on a REGULAR BASIS)and even asks you to do so is an important signal that she still trusts you and cares for you.
Consider this: what (physically) probably causes her the most worry, shame, and tension... her hair. What is the one thing that she would probably do ANYTHING to hide (as much as possible) from the rest of the world... her hair. So the fact that she is able to let her guard down enough to ask and allow you to touch and curl her hair is so, so wonderful.
Each time you worry about her or get discouraged or lonely or angry... remember that you are one of the few (maybe the only) persons that she truly trusts. You are her inherent support system. She may be uncomfortable sometimes when you are touching her hair, but she still allows it. As an analogy of sorts: she may be out-of-control sometimes, but she still loves and needs you.
I went through a time when my mother was not allowed to see my hair. It was horrible; I longed for her to touch it, to play with it like she had when I was a child. At the same time, though, I knew that if I let her get close to it, she would try to inspect the damaged areas. I chose not to let her inspect it. Thus, I caution you: continue helping your daughter do her hair, etc. but don't let her think you're inspecting her balding areas. If she suspects that you're thinking negative thoughts concerning her hair, she may pull away and stop allowing you to help her with it.
Your attempts to learn more about bipolar teenagers and trich are so admirable, Stacey. You are doing the right thing, and your increased knowledge will help you handle numerous situations. Many parents try to deny that their children have problems, especially mental ones. This is unfortunate because children whose parents come to terms with their problems and learn about them do better (from what I've read) in the long-run. Someday, your daughter will look back on this time in her life and remember that you were trying to understand her.
I understand your reluctance to leave your children at home while you work. It is a scary idea, especially when your daughter's having so many problems. Is there some kind of after-school program or extra-curricular activity that she could do in the early evenings so that she and your other child are not home alone? For instance, if she was in the marching band, your daughter would have practice each day after school for an hour and would have some Saturday practices as well. Perhaps your other child (13) would like to be on the track team and would practice each day after school and have Saturday track meets? Maybe your daughter has a close friend who she could hang out with after school (at the friend's house where there are parents around)? I am just throwing out some ideas.
Try not to feel too guilty about working. Your situation is very difficult, and you are doing the best you can. Vent all you like... that's what this board is for!
I think you might find some of what I wrote in another post interesting, so I will copy and paste some of it. (Perhaps you've already read that post... if so, I apologize.)
It's definitely time to talk more with your wife. She is (most likely) your most important source of support, and it is essential that she knows about and acknowledges your picking. Just be honest with her. Tell her it causes you to worry and that it is important to you that she acknowledges that you have a problem. Most likely, she is well aware that you do but finds comfort in her denial. You may have to show her every scar, but if you truly wish to burst her bubble of denial, that might be what it takes. I am not necessarily suggesting that you obliterater her denial. It may be that she cannot handle your problem and that you will have to find another friend/family member to be your support system regarding this issue. You must do some soul-searching to decide how you want to proceed.
If you decide that your wife must acknowledge your problem, find some information on the internet and/or show her this (and other) posts on skin picking and OCD. I mention OCD because skin-picking is commonly considered an OCD-related disorder. Thus, much of the information on skin-picking can be found within general OCD information. Give your wife some time and space to learn about this disorder. Hopefully, after some time and honesty, the two of you can talk a little more openly about your problem.
Don't initially force your wife into talking/reading about skin-picking (eventually, you may decide that you want to force the issue). Instead, make the information available to her, and let her know when you are ready to talk, but give her space to decide when she's ready to discuss the issue. Disorders like skin picking can be very difficult for a loved one or family member to understand, and she may need some more time.
I realize your reluctancy to talk with psychiatrist about your problem, but hear me out a little.
If possible, I would suggest that you familiarize your wife with your disorder before considering talking to someone else about it. Once you and your wife have had some time to think about and discuss what you're going through, then it is time to think about seeing someone. This way, your wife can be fully included in everything that's going on if she chooses to be.
It is often a good idea to start with talking to your family doctor. He/she can usually suggest or refer you to a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, or counselor. If your family doctor can't help you or you don't feel comfortable telling him/her about your skin picking (which he/she has probably already noticed, since he/she is trained to observe you and your body), start calling around to doctors/therapists in your area. Just ask the nurse/receptionist to find out whether the doctor/therapist has any experience with skin picking and to call you back. You can try consulting your local mental health association for recommendations as well. Once you find a doctor/therapist or two who has some degree of familiarity with the disorder, try making an appointment or two with each doctor/therapist. Attend your appointments, and try to find a doctor/therapist that you feel comfortable with. I know I often feel ashamed of my hair pulling, so it is crucial for me to feel comfortable with my doctor and not at all ashamed or embarrassed.
Take your wife along with you to your visits, if you like and she wants to. At the very least, your wife should meet your doctor/therapist and receive some more information from him/her. My fiance attends my visits with my psychiatrist. It helps him to understand me better, and we receive a bit of couple's counseling at the same time. It has worked really well for us.
Now to address the psychiatrist issue:
Remember, you don't have to see a medical doctor for this disorder. In fact, you have several options. (You probably know some or all of this, but hear me out). Psychiatrists are medical doctors with the authority to write prescriptions for medicines. Psychologists usually have qualifications equal to psychiatrists but are not authorized to write prescriptions for medicines. Counselors and therapists often have a wide range of qualifications. It is probably a good idea to get some recommendations from a credible source before seeing any counselors and therapists. Make sure that they are properly licensed for your area; in fact, you may want to contact a mental health association of some kind in your area. These organizations often have lists of licensed counselors and therapists that you could review.
Thus, you do NOT have to see a psychiatrist at all- a therapist or counselor may be all you need. Also, many regional mental health associations have reduced or no-cost treatment programs so that you could see a counselor without dipping deeply into your family's budget.
In actuality, many people with this disorder and others like it have found that a combination of behavioral therapy and medication is what works the best to help them control their urges to pick at their skin. For this reason, many see psychiatrists because they can prescribe medicine and conduct behavioral therapy both. There are other options, though. For a while, I saw a psychiatrist occasionally (which obviously is less costly) who handled my mediciation while I saw a therapist regularly who handled my behavioral therapy. It may take time, but you will eventually find the right combination of therapy and/or medicines for you. You may even decide to see a therapist regularly while having your family doctor handle any medicines you want to try.
Again, medicine is not necessarily something you have to try, although it can be helpful. In all but the most severe cases, it is often recommended that patients try to control their urges through therapy before any medicines are used. Then, if therapy is not helping as much as the patient wants, a variety of medications can be tried at varying dosages.
Skin picking is considered an mental disorder and is most often associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You should be able to find a lot of information about OCD on this board, this site, and the internet. Sometimes skin picking (like hair pulling) is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain; sometimes it becomes a habit people use to calm themselves in anxious situations; sometimes it is merely a nervous tic; often, it is some combination of the previously mentioned along with other unknown factors. Scientists are very unsure of its exact cause.
Good luck learning about skin picking and all of its components. I hope you are able to find a good doctor/therapist and that you will find some success in some kind of treatment. Keep us all posted on your progress!!
P.S. Ask any more questions you have and feel free to vent about problems you might be having. We all seem to feel and do better when we talk to others about our problems.
to anonymity THANKS 
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