I can certainly relate to that! I can get so locked into an obsessive thought that I make myself have a panic attack.
It's important for me to realize that a panic attack can't kill me and that it's not going to make me go crazy. That's the best coping skill I have. If I feel one coming on, I just say "Come on, do your best!"
Not to say that they're not scary, but if you take away their power (which is your fear of having one) then they don't seem to haunt you as much.
But what you're going through makes perfect sense to me. You're not alone.
Doug
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