Originally Posted by alex893
also i just wanted to say this;
one day i was hanging out with my friends and a thought came into my head.
"what if i was gay"?
the thougtb stuck with me for a while and really made me worry allot. like what if i wanted guys instead? really wierd i dont know why i worried about that.
anyways thanks if you clicked on this thread
Before I knew of ocd/rocd I went through the "what if i was gay" thing too. Unfortunately I went through it for about 20 years, Ugghh.
I saw a good friend of mine yesterday and he's in a fairly new relationship. He has told us how much he loves his girlfriend but suddenly he's questioning everything. He said that his girlfriend told him "you just want everything to be perfect." I said "like in the movies?" He giggled and said "yeah." I felt so bad for him after reading all of these boards, I wonder if he knows most likely he has rocd. I'm glad I can be there to give a different perspective than other friends might give. My husband and I explained that relationships aren't perfect "like in the movies" and that he needs to accept her the way she is, with all of her flaws. I know for a fact that he loves her; I guess the only thing I can do is reassure him of that. My rocd makes me think my husband is a cheater. I hang on every word as proof or confirmation that its so. I didn't realize how bad I was treating him so now I'm doing my best to not see him as the monster that my mind chooses to make him out to be. I can't believe he's tolerated my behavior and he still loves me so much. That means so much to me. I've also had the bestfriend anyone could have; she's also listened to me for the last 20 years and also reassured me that my husband wasn't cheating on me; she's been such a huge support everytime I have a complaint about anything. I love her so much. She fought cancer and won but she thinks now that it may have come back. Ugghh!
Alex, I think the tough part is not knowing if its rocd or not. You have to know that its just rocd. I would recommend that when you are feeling totally in love with her; commit yourself to knowing that you may feel rocd creep up again so you can remind yourself that its rocd. Stop the rituals it will help too. You can fight this! It's mind over matter.