BriJ

Hey Shannon, I have had obsessions since I can remember. When I was about 7 or 8 I used to cry at night because I would have obsessions about hurting my mom. Of course when I was that young it scared the crap out of me. It was pretty much dormant for like 15 years, it was always there but never strong enough to bother me until about only 7-8 months ago. They started coming full force, they involved harmful thoughts mainly about my girlfriend who is everything in the world to me. I became worried and thought I was a freak or something because I still didn't know what it was. So I educated myself to an extreme and found out everything I could about my symptoms and stumbled across this monster called OCD. I was having really hard times for awhile trying to sleep at night, especially with my girlfriend next to me. The best thing that helps me is to talk about what I'm experiencing with her, parents, friends, therapists, or even me or other people on chat boards, it is a sort of form of exposure therapy and it makes you feel like you've gotten a load of your chest. I know it's really difficult to tell people you love you have thoughts about hurting them but there is a way to get around that and make them understand still. The first thing I did was have my girlfriend and parents read everything they can about OCD so they understand that its your brain chemistry and not you. I also had my parents read the book IMP OF THE MIND by Lee Baer. I highly recommend this book because its geared towards obsesions only. I then told my parents and girlfriend that my thoughts were violent in nature without telling them sometimes it involved them. I didn't feel like they need to know every little thing that goes on in my brain, as long as they have the gist they can understand a little of what I'm going thrrough and can be there for me when I have a bad day or whatever. Put it this way, we were cursed with this crap, but instead of it making us less confident or weaker people than non-ocd'ers, see it as making you stronger, we have to live, work, go to school raise children, and function in this stressful society just as everyone else does, we are at a disadvantage and have to fight that much harder making us stronger. As far as meds go I am not on any because I choose not to be. My doctor and parents recommendeded them at first but I know what is best for me and didn't feel like I was at that point. I also rarely see a therapist but I think its good to go to one because you can tell them anything(specific obsessions, etc.)And thankfully I made the right choice regarding meds because after seeing a therapist he told me that I definitely didn't need them. Anyway I hope this helps in some way. Feel free to ask any more questions or to keep in touch on this board, because it helps us to cope. -BRIAN