getting more and more tired - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

07-24-2003, 06:44 AM

h
ey guys, I am really struggling here. Do not know what to do. This past week I have been obsessing about having OCD and getting rid of that feeling which hurts so bad, I guess my need for answeres lies with how I am feeling. I try to force myself to feel good. Well that just makes it worse. I am on 40 mgs of Prozac, seems to help a little. I guess what I am trying to say is that I fear ocd. I cannot get the fact that I have this disorder out of my head. It is scaring me to death. Everyday seems like the last day.feel like I have no purpose. I just feel as though since I have this disease I will never feel like the old me before I found out I had a disorder. That was 1997. I have times when I feel great and they last about 4 to 5 months. Then I hit a rutt, and that feels like they last forever. Even though it is only 2 -3 weeks. Need some good advice I am getting really tired.

Kathrin74 · 07-24-2003, 11:28 AM

Hello there,

I just needed to reply to your post! Yes I have been diagnosed with OCD too but due to meds (Prozac too) and a little therapy I finally, after many years, emerged from the darkness that had entangled me. Don't let the diagnosis define you. It does not define who you are. It doesn't make you less of a person. Yes it is part of you but need that be negative? Life is a growth process. I don't even regret having had OCD anymore because if i didn't I would never have been able to experience that FREEING feeling of re-emerging again... and yes, feeling like the OLD ME again, after manyb years!!!!!!! it is possible!!!

I am not only the woman who has been diagnosed with OCD. Yes after I forst got treatment that was pretty much what I defined myself with, still. (Which in my case wasn't a negative thing because everything I did I saw in the light of, wow, I am coming out of this, look at me, I am "me" again...). But that is just part of my experience now. That is not all that I am.

I am also a poet and musician, I am wokring in social work fields (mostly volunteer right now), helping homeless people... I am a woman with a mission. having gone through hard times helps me relate to other people.

I don't think life is supposed to be all blue skies and smiles. I don't regret anything anymore.

Kathrin

p.s. Every life has a purpose. Yours stoo!

hangtenvetter · 07-24-2003, 09:35 PM

Go Kathrin! Great advice.

It is incredible to come out of a cocoon.

darktimes · 07-25-2003, 04:51 PM

Hang in there bro...I can relate to your desire to be yourself again...it gets to be a long road huh. Every now and then i get a taste of the real "me" and it feels so good, but when it goes away and ocd comes back it feels like i'm being teased. Talk about psychological warfare....anyway, no quitin' in this game! One day at a time. Keep me posted.

dt

"I firmly believe that the greatest fullfillment in any man's life is that moment when he has worked his heart out for a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle...victourious."
~Vince Lombardi.

Stay the course....keep on keeping on..

jennifer44 · 07-25-2003, 08:16 PM

I also felt the same way you are feeling now. When I was first diagnosed with OCD it was a relief to me because I knew that I actually had something and wasn't just losing my mind. After being diagnosed I kind of became obsessed with the disorder itself....reading everything about it and seeking out info everywhere. Once I found the correct meds, I was able to return to the way I was. I, like you, did not even think that was possible. Of course I still have some symptoms of the OCD (Checking, re-checking, re-checking, and re-checking again ha-ha. I sometimes have to do things four times.) but it is nowhere near as bad as it was before.

Just hang in there. You will get better and you will be amazed at how great you feel when this is all behind you. Keep telling yourself that it is the OCD making you feel this way not you. You will feel like yourself again.