All-Consuming Compulsions - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Kaleens · 07-26-2003, 10:05 AM

Ah, the travails of having OCD. I was wondering if any of you know anything about Scrupulosity or Religious OCD? Mine has always centered around blaspheming God and being damned to hell since I was 9-10. I am now a 22 yr.old in school.

My compulsions are not a set number or set ritual but changes minute to minute...day to day in frequency and severity. It seems, all I ever hear is about people and OCD concerning re-checking things and germ phobias.

My OCD goes something like this:

I can be standing there pouring a glass of lemonade. All of a sudden, a thought will tell me to put on the lid to the lemonade the right way or "I WILL GOT TO HELL OR DIE" from not doing it right. Than I will proceed over and over to recap the lemonade until the feeling is right and the thought says "OK, NOW YOU ARE SAFE"....but there's no set number of times. Sometimes I have to retouch things over and over. Sometimes rethink things..sometimes rewrite things. It's very agitating. Also, thoughts of cursing God come into my head which are horrible. By the way, all of this I know is illogical but that is part of OCD, you cannot seem to get a grip at times. My OCD comes in waves, meaning, I may not have OCD for months and months..then it will hit along with intense ANXIETY--panic attacks..what have you.

Please respond to tell me if my OCD seems out of character than the norm...that's kind of irony there....LIKE, what is the norm for the abnormal???

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Good Luck

Kathrin74 · 07-26-2003, 11:44 AM

Hey Kaleens,

I can relate to what you are saying, I have had pretty much the same thing myself. Checking and cleaning are just examples of OCD, frequent ones but not the only ones. I think what you describe is not that uncommon!

Anyway as for me I have gone through several different kinds of OCD, and most of them did have to do with scrupulosity... often checking behavior has to do with scrupulosity too ("how can I live with myself if I don't recheck if that person is ok? How am i going to sleep tonight?")
And then the "going to hell" thing was a BIGGIE!!! for me for quite a long time. And yes, it was mostly over ridiculous things. (Things that if I think about it... would God send somebody to hell over that??? The loving God that I believe in??? Of course not!!!!).

What has helped me? Hmmmm... I am on prozac now and have been for 2 1/2 years and I must say it has helped me tremendously, I did do some therapy at the time I started the medication so I can't say for sure what helped me more!
Some thoughts that have helped me:

"Do I believe in a God who would send me to hell for stuff like not putting a lid on correctly? God knows EVERYTHING and He certainly knows about OCD too, He knows about our weaknesses and He understands... and He wants me to get well."
So really, faith in God can help me to NOT listen to the OCD voice (the OCD voice is NOT!!! God).

Something my psychiatrist told me:
If you do a compulsion, the anxiety goes away and you find some temporary relief (like when you say, ok now I am safe.) However, it will come back, maybe in some other form. Because giving in to the compulsion strengthens it.
If you resist the compulsion, at first the anxiety goes WAY up. But then!!! you will realize that after a while it reaches a peak and then starts to come down by itself!!! And this way, the compulsion is WEAKENED instead of strengthened. And the next time, you will remember!!! And it will become easier and easier....
(I think the medication helped me do this.)

Hope this helps a little... oh, another thing: When you get thoughts like that, tell yourself: "It's just an obsession! It's the OCD, it's not me thinking that." (And certainly not God telling me that.)

Kathrin