inability to feel-can anyone relate? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

darktimes · 07-16-2003, 07:56 AM

I have had OCD for three years now. I am currently 25. My first battle was with relationship justification obsessions. My second has been with gay fears. And for the past three years i have not been able to "feel" joy/love. The things that used to bring me joy - from fishing and coaching to hanging out with family and friends - just cast a numb feeling upon me. I feel like i'm almost in a twilight zone. Yesterday in fact, i was visiting my godchild - she's the most precious thing in the world - but i felt blank/numb on the inside. I could see with my eyes but not feel with my heart. I want so bad feel like i used to feel...how do i cope? Can anyone relate?

BlueSprite555 · 07-16-2003, 12:28 PM

They say Depression equals Repression...often severe depression goes hand in hand with OCD...I think you have both. Not "feeling" is sympomatic of serious depression...I was that way too at one point in my life...'till I realized that I was holding back so much emotion it caused me to feel numb.
HTH!

darktimes · 07-16-2003, 12:34 PM

Delphi...how did you ever get out of the cycle? And what do you mean when you say "'till I realized that I was holding back so much emotion?" Any practical suggestions?

*music23* · 07-16-2003, 01:43 PM

Sometimes it feels like we're in a bubble, doesn't it? It feels like we can't reach anyone and they can't reach us. Is that how you feel? It's really hard to deal with. When I get like that, all I want to do is just snap out of it as fast as I can. But how do you do that? It's a hard thing. Good luck!
Kristina

[This message has been edited by *music23* (edited 07-16-2003).]

BlueSprite555 · 07-17-2003, 12:57 PM

Well, it didn't happen overnight...but therapy of course really did it...through that learning that feelings are feelings, there are no wrong ones...and that it's ok to feel angry, or sad, or whatever. Exploring how you feel...learning how to turn off your mind and start feeling and being in the moment, that was a technique I learned. Having never done it before, it took a lot of practice. You can start by keeping a feeling journal, logging how you feel day to day...and if you have trouble figuring out how you feel you can start by thinking in terms of color...like today I feel black, or grey...something like that. And sometimes music can help you unlock some emotion...or art...there are a lot of ways to tap these things. It takes time, but it will happen. Try getting some books out on it maybe...something about learning how to recognize feelings or unlocking them...HTH!