Worried About Machinery - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

hangtenvetter · 10-17-2003, 06:22 AM

Does anybody here think about the moving parts in machinery, and worry about all that friction, all the things that must go exactly right for it all to work, worry that it is wearing down, and it will eventually break, and that you need to give your machine plenty of rest?

Does anybody think about the gears spinning and the teeth of the gears constantly spinning on one another, or the stress of pistons constantly firing.

Or think that the refrigerator must be on the brink of breaking down since the freon just can't be compressed and decompressed forever without something giving.

Or think of the blade on the lawn mower. When the blade hits the side of the sidewalk, do you picture the internals of the engine just totally stressing out?

When you are on a plane, do you look at the engine in amazement and find it unbelievable that it all works, and that it must surely break?

Does the idea of an engine make you tired?

Do you feel sorry for the machines when they work so hard?

Sanguine · 10-17-2003, 04:46 PM

Hi Hangtenvetter,

As I started reading your post, I thought you might be leading up to some sort of metaphorical reference to the effect of stress on the mind, but you were not. While I can't say that I've ever felt sorry for or worried much about the mechanical stress on a machine or appliance, I have had the same thoughts about airplane engines. I think as I've gotten older, I've both marveled and feared the complexity of flying.

It sounds like you sort of personify inanimate objects like machines. I think that's kind of interesting, and it suggests to me that you have a fascination and admiration perhaps with how things work mechanically. Perhaps you have such a deep appreciation for mechanical things that you attribute a life-like quality or spirit to them. I know some people do that with their cars over time -- they name them and baby them like pets. It's always difficult to retire old cars and appliances that have been around for a long time.

Anyhow, are you concerned that these machines/appliances will break down; i.e. a fear of a plane crash as a result of engine failure, or the inconvenience of having to replace a fridge? Or is it that you find yourself simply concerned for these objects as you would a pet? Perhaps it's a combo of both?

hangtenvetter · 10-17-2003, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Anyhow, are you concerned that these machines/appliances will break down; i.e. a fear of a plane crash as a result of engine failure, or the inconvenience of having to replace a fridge? Or is it that you find yourself simply concerned for these objects as you would a pet? Perhaps it's a combo of both?

Great insights, Sanguine. I do personify inanimate objects. The objects aren't necessarily mechanical (that is moving parts). Any object that has "done me right", whether it be a trusty garden hose sprayer or a car that has driven me for miles on end. Somewhere in my psyche, I develop an attachment, and the objects takes on character. I hadn't realized this until I started the meds. It was like a window opened. I saw this stuff around me, and it was scary... I had gotten to the point where I was worried about using machines for fear of wearing them out... as if they really care!

Complicated machinery, such as a clocks, jet engines, printers, copy machines... are just so complicated, that I can't fathom people actually making them robust enough to handle much. The vibration an airplane wing takes... The weight a bridge supports... So anytime I deal with a machine (escalators, elevators, operating systems, toasters...), I think of the intricacies involved in making them work. It's almost as if I have to understand the thing in order to use it, or I am not worthy.

And along with this there is the worry of wearing things out. It's just recently that I go, well if it wears out... we'll get a new one.

I know this sounds crazy, but for instance if I wear out a toaster... and get a new one... I have to throw away the current one. I get to thinking about how much trash I throw away. I think of the toaster, and where it will go. I think about the decay rate of a toaster. I know it will be in the ground for a loooong time. I then think get to thinking that we are just going to overfill the landfills. I have to save that toaster so I don't overfill the landfill!

It sure helps to write these things, thanks for listening.

Sanguine · 10-18-2003, 05:13 AM

As far as really complex machinery and man-made structures are concerned, I find these things absolutely fascinating. Airplane wings, ailerons, rudders, and engines are amazing to me; and yet they seem so precarious that I can't believe they work so reliably. Bridges and trains are incredible feats of human engineering, and there really is something aesthetically pleasing about them. I've never gotten tired of looking at the bridges in New York and San Francisco.

Anyhow, I'm rambling here. You seem a little concerned over your personification of such objects. It seems a result of your fear, awe, and general sense of marvel over how things function mechanically. I am just as analytical, fearful, and inspired by the human mind. The more I learn about it, the more amazed I am at how the brain functions -- I even tend to overanalyze it at times.

That said, I was going to mention that you seem to take a lot of responsibility for understanding, maintaining, and I guess disposing of these mechanical objects. I'm not sure this really matters, unless it distresses or bothers you to some extent...

hangtenvetter · 10-18-2003, 08:05 AM

I too marvel at technology. The preoccupation with the inner workings of things mechanical doesn't bother me. I value that.

The guilt associated with tossing a toaster bothers me. I know most people save things because they think that someday they might use them. I have found that I save weird things for three reasons: I -worry- that if I toss it, I might be stranded without it; I have attached some sentimental value to it; or that the thing has "seen me through" and I owe it some respect.

The last one is odd. I say things like, "Man, I hate to see that little guy go. He was a good water hose. Awe, maybe I can patch him." I begin to analyze my motives. "You could patch him. He's not that bad. You could give him another chance." Suddenly the decision to toss the hose becomes a moral decision.

What happened to me at my worst was that all decisions became moral decisions. Each one, I had to figure out "the right thing". Looking back, I suppose that the fear of tossing the hose was just another example of trying to do the right thing, not necessarily placing animate characteristics to that poor old hose.

If you could just know the moral debacle I went through of tossing a plant! It got so bad that cutting grass was a chore in morality!

[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 10-18-2003).]

[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 10-18-2003).]

[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 10-18-2003).]