Severe separation anxiety - 4 yrs 9 mos - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

TerryB · 10-19-2003, 03:36 PM

Does anyone have any advice regarding figuring out whether my daughter's separation anxiety is part of her OCD? I have to go to PreK with her. Last year I tried the "tough" approach that most parents use: You let them cry it out and then they adjust. Well my daughter never stopped crying and eventually the school asked that I take her out of the program.

Bryan2Unkool · 10-20-2003, 04:59 PM

I'm not exactly sure if it's OCD, but when I was that age I had the same problem. I would cry on the way to school every day of first grade. I don't think I completely grew out of this until third or fourth grade and even then it wouldn't take too much to make me cry.
I'm 15 now and take paxil for social anxiety disorder. It keeps me from getting overwhelmed to the point of crying or anger. However, I wouldnt recomend medication at such an early age. As difficult as it may seem, you're probably just going to have to cope with it until she grows out of it.

hangtenvetter · 10-20-2003, 07:12 PM

I am sorry, I don't have any advice. But I sure would appreciate you posting anything you find that helps. Our girl is 4 years old. She'll turn 5 in January. She is extremely attached to us, and I can't see her making it in kindegarten (she'll probably be homeschooled - my wife is a certified teacher... so we have that option.)

I feel for you, and know how tramatic it is letting your child go screaming and begging for you to stay.

Take care.

TerryB · 10-21-2003, 08:11 PM

Bryan, I don't know many 15 year olds that are reaching out to help others like you did in your post. Your pain has obviously helped you to mature faster in some ways than other teenagers. You show signs of being a loyal friend. I'm going to take my daughter to the psychologist soon and try to identify the "enemy" here. Thanks for your response.

Hangtenvetter, one thing that I am sure of is that you need to make steady progress. Getting the child out of the house is important. Interestingly, my daughter can usually stay at a Birthday party or playdate alone. My husband and I are also trying to get out to dinner alone every now and then. Both my girls have gone together for overnights with grandparents. For some reason school is more difficult, perhaps because the child has to sit still sometimes and is not be totally distracted. Perhaps it is all the germs. I'm not sure. I also posted on the Parenting Message Board at this site. There may be some useful information there for you.

I have to think of the progress that she has made. 6 months ago, she couldn't go to the bathroom alone and I had to sit by her bed until she went to sleep (now I'm sitting in the hall outside her room.)

The last two days she is at least being a little more pleasant so it is not as bad being "shackled" to her. I know that sounds terrible but hearing her whine and act oppositional can really drive a parent nuts.

Thanks, Terry

GetGhostNucca · 10-24-2003, 11:03 AM

I'll never forget my first day of Kindergarden, I sat by myself for the whole day, I didn't talk to anybody the whole time. I was soo mad at my mom for leaving me at that place. It was cool cuz the next day, I got myself a "girlfriend"-you know how little kids are.

I'm surprised that the "tough" approach didn't work. That's usually a last resort that has to work. I don't know if letting her skip Pre-K would be a good idea, cuz she might not want to go into Kindergarden and you'd be back at square 1.

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"I don't like it when my juice wears tights"--Dane Cook