evolving ocd, suggestions!!!!!!!!! - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

lynn45 · 10-26-2003, 08:17 PM

when I first learned I had ocd it was mostly responsibilty problems. I was afraid I would hurt someone by my own neglegence (although, I am the most cautious person I know). then I found out I had ocd, I found this website and even though I still had the anxiety and the compulsions and I still acted on the compulsions, I would just laugh at it, it doesn't bother me anymore. I can't get treatment right now, but I have found that humor helps me through it (I found a way around it).

NOW, I still have that, but with other things...which I can't even talk about, on top of that. Was my life getting too easy? Does ocd evolve, when we think it is under control can it just turn and manifest itself into something completely different that you aren't used to to scare the **** out of you when you aren't looking? It's like...on the outside, I am living a normal life perfect family, getting my career on track, but on the inside...it's like a horror movie.

Has anyone elses ocd evolved, how do you deal?

fm5 · 10-28-2003, 11:41 AM

My best advice would be if you just discovered you have ocd, is to go to a therapist specializing in this disorder so you can learn/cope more with it.

Everyone is different. Some people may have a mild case and it disappears and never returns.

In my case (and this is why I mentioned to see a therapist) I didn't take ocd seriously when I was first diagnosed. I thought I would recover quickly from it. It has been 5 long years of total anxiety with more and more obsessions and compulsions being added onto my initial ones.

I had to go out on disability because of it. I got very sick on the meds I was taking for it. Missed out on many social opportunities. And lost a great deal of money in missed work and other things.

This illness can be very very debilitating. I found that out myself.

[This message has been edited by fm5 (edited 10-28-2003).]

lynn45 · 10-28-2003, 02:13 PM

Well...that's the problem, I do not have the resources available to me at this time to see a doctor. I only went one time, was diagnosed, put on medication...then it had to stop, no more visits, no more medication. So, in short, I found out, was medicated...now I think after 6 months of no medication...it is getting worse than it was before I went to the doctor. BUT, because I knew why I was thinking that way, I knew what to expect and laughed it off...still acting out, but I knew why. NOW it is more graphic, scarier, like it has learned and adapted to feed off of the anxiety.

Thanks for the suggestion though, I will for sure go to the doctor, as insurance and money permits. Until then, I will just keep....Coping?

hangtenvetter · 10-28-2003, 06:42 PM

Sorry to hear about your OCD worsening. The fact that you can't get the medication/therapy you need is a downright shame.

Sounds as if the new obsessions are -really- bothering you. I don't know if OCD worsens, but in any case it sounds as if yours has.

Take care and thanks for your posts here.

[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 10-28-2003).]

lynn45 · 10-28-2003, 07:50 PM

Thanks for your replys guys!!!!!

Let me first say that it is a shame that no one can get help from a doctor for their mental well being with out having to pay an arm and a leg, and some insurances apparently do not cover this either. You can try to comit suicide, be sent to the emergency room (which in some states, HAVE to treat you by law they can't turn you away if is life threatening) then send you back into the world. BUT you can't get help before it comes to that. (NOT THAT I have ever thought about that, I am only trying to prove a point).

AND with this post...I think I phrased it a little wrong hangentenvetter, I don't think it has worsened (I should have used another word). It's just that, when I found out what this was that I was going through, it became sooo easy. I had the obsessions, I laughed at them...still doing the compulsions to make myself ok with them, but laughing at the obsessions made it almost ok, it made since.

Then they did a 180, I have new obsessions, which are less on the responsibility side and more on the violent side (which I have never had). This of which I do not know how to laugh at...AND I have no compulsions to make myself feel better.

So, it is like the ocd wasn't getting to me...it changed...now it gets to me, it scares me.

Has anyone else gone through anything like that? I guess meds would help, but other than that????