Hey! I'm only 13, and I don't know whether I have a disorder or whether nothing's unusual, and whether I should tell somebody or not. I'm not sure if I have OCD, or another disorder, and I would really appreciate some help. Thanks!
I'm kind of embarrassed about my behaviors, but I really want to know if I should talk to someone. I probably won't post all of them, but I'll post the majority of them.
My first behavior is that I'm always terrified of someone breaking into my house. If I'm downstairs putting my dog in her kennel at night or something, I always think that somebody's going to come out of nowhere and grab me when the lights aren't on.
The following symptoms are kind of related. Whenever I brush my hair, I always end off by brushing the right side once, then the left side twice, then the right side again. Whenever I brush my teeth, I always go left to right along the back of my bottom teeth, then the top of my bottom teeth, then the along the middle of my bottom teeth, then the middle of my top teeth, then the front of my bottom teeth, then the front of my top teeth, then the very very front teeth once, the very very bottom teeth twice, and the very very front teeth once again. Whenever I floss my teeth, I always end off by flossing the front middle once, the bottom middle twice, then the top middle once again. I always say the same thing to my dog and my parents before I go to bed, and if something doesn't feel "right" I always like stretch my fingers out and swallow...then I choke and cough. I always do my best to say bye to people in the same order, and I always wash my face the exactly same way. Like I go from my forehead counter-clockwise, then around my cheeks, then down my nose, on the right once, the left twice, then right once again. Then I go on my eyebrows (I don't know why I was wash like around my eyebrows...) by going on the right one once, the left one twice, then the right one once again.
When I was younger I would go to the washroom about 10-20 times at night (I wouldn't even wait two minutes) because it didn't "feel" right, and I would also always collect rocks because I knew that I would never find another one just like it and sometimes I keep useless tags and stuff.
These aren't all of my symptoms, but all of them are pretty similar. I know this is pretty long, but please read it. I would really appreciate any help. Thanks so much!
Daniela
This isn't all of my symptoms, but they're some, and all of them are pretty similar.
Without knowing your other symptoms, I would say that it sounds like you *could* be exhibiting some OCD-like tendencies. The examples in your post that seem most OCD-related to me were the continuous visits to the bathroom, and the sort of goodbye rituals that you discussed. The other things you mention, i.e. the way you brush your teeth and being terrified of the dark may or may not be OCD behaviors. The more important question is, how much time are these behaviors taking out of your day, and are you feeling anxiety as a result of these things? Are you having any obsessive thoughts? Do you feel a sense of relief when you perform these rituals?
You sound like a very intelligent person for your age, and it was smart to do a little research online. I hope you find some answers.
Daniela,
I have a 4 year old daughter with OCD and I have been told that younger people often do very well with cognitive behavioural therapy. If these rituals and fears are keeping you from carrying out the things that you want to do in life then you should tell your parents and ask to see an OCD specialist. The OCD specialist will be able to tell you for sure whether it is a form of OCD or something else.
We have several family members with OCD and some have done remarkably well and one is doing very poorly. It is not a death sentence but a challenge. One member used cognitive behavioural therapy before it was even used clinically. She is in her 70's now and went through a 5 year period of germ OCD. She basically got sick and tired of it and bossed it away until it didn't come back again. Changing clothe diapers for three kids also helped her to overcome this condition.
The family member who is doing very poorly has had OCD since childhood but it was never treated until she was in her 40's. The condition was never explained to her and she has had pretty bad psychological counseling. She also has several other health conditions that are very depressing and discouraging.
My advice again is that you get help if this is holding you back in any way. The earlier you start combating it the better.
My other symptoms that I can remember (I'm pretty sure that this is all of them) are like re-reading something all of the time, even though I understand it perfectly the first time. I always do that swallow and stretch out my fingers thing though. I also often do that if I'm just sitting around, because it doesn't "feel right." Sometimes I'll re-read the previous sentence, then paragraph, and sometimes it'll take up to 5 minutes to read a line that I already understand.
For some reason, I don't know why, I'm still scared of going to the washroom if it's somewhere other than my house. I slowly stopped going to the washroom 10-20 times at night, it made me really anxious. Now I go through another ritual, as in telling myself when I'm going to be back, what I'm doing, etc.
I'm pretty sure I feel a sense of relief after I preform these rituals, actually I'm nearly certain I do. Only today when I tried to find out if I did, it only made it not feel "right," so I would stretch out my fingers and everything again.
Before I go to bed every night, I make sure that the computers are parallel to the edge of the desk, that the volume is turned down, that the mousepads are straight, and that the mouse is at the edge of the mousepad. I don't know why I do it, I just do.
Also, when I was younger, I would clean all of the time. I couldn't stand anything being "out of order." I would constantly tidy everything up in every room, and it drove me insane. I do that much less frequently now, and I don't know if it's just my personality or if it's somehow related. I still organize things now, but I'm definitely not a "neat freak" and sometimes my locker or room get kind of messy.
Also, sometimes things that I write have to be "perfect." For instance, when I would have to make dichotomous keys for Science class, it would take me forever because the rectangles weren't perfect. However, sometimes I just don't care at all either. When I ended up finishing the dichotomous key, I was in a rush and I didn't care if everything was straight. The same thing happens when I'm making a title page and I have to divide the page in 3. It drives me crazy if it's not straight. Of course, it never ends up being perfect, but it takes me forever. Also, if I always pop something if it even slightly resembles a black head or pimple, and most of the time it's not. I'm not obsessed about my image, I don't do my hair or wear make-up, and since I wear a uniform every day I don't have to worry about how I dress, but popping "zits" on my face has become so ordinary that I barely notice it anymore. I'm not sure if this is a symptom, but I thought I should include it just in case.
When I used to ask myself why I did this, or I tried to pass by a ritual, I would tell myself "Well, if a burgular comes or something, you wouldn't have done it right." Now when I ask myself, as I've started to research OCD, I tell myself that I have to do it if I think about not doing a ritual one time.
I think that my parents have a vague idea about what's going on with me. I know that they knew about what I was doing when I went to the washroom 10-20 times a night. When we went on vacation one time I was up for two hours past the time I had gone to bed going to the washroom about every two minutes, and since I was in the same room as them and I know that they couldn't have slept through me going past their bed and flushing the toilet every time, they heard me. I've also brought up the subject of OCD a few times and been more interested in what my dad does. My dad constantly (even when he's asleep) moves his toes, he can't stop. I keep on asking him why he does it, but he says that he doesn't know. I asked him if he could act the doctor because I was curious, and he said okay, but I doubt he ever will. I think that he may have a tic disorder, and I know that those can be associated with OCD (at least I read that somewhere, is that right?), but I'm not sure.
As for the time these behaviors are taking up each day, I don't have a very accurate answer. I tried timing one time, but the routines become so ordinary in my life, that I forget to time. They used to take up more time, but now maybe they take up about 30 minutes to one hour. It fluctuates from day to day though.
These rituals provide me with a fair bit of anxiety as result of these things, but like the time I spend on them, that also fluctuates a fair amount. Sometimes I can't stand it and I want to get help more than ever, and sometimes I think that I can deal with it for a while and I won't have to tell my parents. I really want help though, I think it will help. I've been showing symptoms for a while, but I didn't notice how unusual it really was until recently.
I've told two of my closest friends that I think I may have OCD, but they don't seem to care a lot. They're great friends, and they were concerned when I brought it up, but other than that they don't seem to care, and I don't talk to them a lot anymore because we're not in the same class this year. I haven't told my best friend, or my closest friend at my school about it, but my closest friend at my school just joke around, and I don't know what my best friend would think. I'm so scared about telling my parents though. I'm so worried that I might be wrong, and that they won't think of me as the same kid anymore, they've had their share of problems recently. I really want to get help though. Do you know of a way that I could approach my parents? I'm so confused.
I know that this is very long, but thank you so much for reading this. I'd really appreciate any other responses or additional advice. Thanks so much!
First of all, you really are very articulate for a 13 year old, which is great. You seem to have a very good handle on your symptoms and what is bothering you, and that will always prove to be the most important thing going forward.
These things do seem to be causing you distress, and you are definitely exhibiting OCD-like symptoms in my opinion. Some of it seems pretty harmless though; i.e. your tidiness and exactness in some of you school assignments. Unless those particular things are causing you significant distress or impeding your studies, they may actually become assets in the long run as far as school is concerned.
It is good that you want to get help for this, and I think you should as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. The reason I say this is that you are young enough to quickly and effectively make appropriate changes; you can and will get better. I think sometimes it is easier to fix things in our psyche and personality when we are younger because we are still forming neural pathways and our brains are still very plastic in many ways.
The next step is to find a way to broach the subject with your parents. I think the best way is to be as forthcoming with them as possible and explain your concerns. Explain to them that your main concerns in coming to them about this is that you need their understanding and that this doesn't change who you are and have always been. This condition does not define your character or spirit, Daniela. This is something that is VERY treatable. Be open and honest with them, and explain that you would like to at least be evaluated by a physician because you want to get better. I really think they will be understanding and will help you take care of this -- there is no reason to live in fear or be ashamed.
Anyhow, I think I've said enough for now...keep us posted on what you decide to do. Take care, best of luck to you...
Do you think it's possible that I have OCD? 
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