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Old 09-24-2010, 09:31 AM   #1
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somedayz HB User
Intrusive Thoughts

I was diagnosed with OCD over 3 years ago. It has been a constant struggle . But for a few months everything was going well. Excuse me for my writing but my mind is a little scatter brained. Anyway about a week ago I started having intrusive thought about killing my family and complete strangers and ways to hurt them. Every time I walk by someone it happens A thought of them dying or me hurting or killing them. I have an appointment with my doctor monday . But I dont want to tell him. I dont know how I could. I love my family more than life itself. But the thoughts will not go away. Im on sertaline 300 mg and that was working now it is not. I came to this forum for a life raft. I need someone to guide and let me what I should do when I go to this appointment. I am starting to dread waking up in ther morning or trying to go to sleep. These thoughts and the immense anxiety are out of control. I try to pay them no mind. But it is killing me inside. To harm anyone is totally out of my caracter. I want this stop. Somebody please help.. This never happened to me before and I cant control it. Could I possibly harm someo0ne. Should I go away I just dont know what to think. Im at my breaking point.

 
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:28 PM   #2
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

Dear intrusive...

I really feel for you ,wow i cant even begin to think how difficult it must be to deal with ,it would help when you have these feeling to remove yourself from your loved ones at the time and speak to somebody ,you cannot internalise this you have to have someone at that time to talk you through this or at least take your mind of it .This may seem impossible,but you are controlling your thoughts and the love for your family is going to give you the strength to overcome ,it feels like there are two people ,the good and the bad , you are your families protector ,so fight for them.Dont let the good in your life be taken away form you .You are a good person ,You have to find a coping skill to deal with this so that you will control the situation.One thing that i have learnt being ocd is that we have to control the thinking and reasoning ,ask yourself why should you harm somebody when clearly youn say its not your character.The fact that younhave a family tells me that you are lovablle so dont ever doubt the good in you and the fact that you are trying so hard to do the right things means alot.I am hear if you need to talk
you took an important step and there is going to be help please tell yourself everyday this is not really who you are.you are special.good and you are loved ,you will get through this ,there people who care.

 
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:51 PM   #3
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

I just cant control it.I need help.

 
Old 09-25-2010, 02:11 AM   #4
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by somedayz View Post
I just cant control it.I need help.
hey there ,you have to change thought process ,by replacing it with good thoughts .Look i know rigth now this may seem friutless but trust me this can be done .you need to get your power back ,you have the ability to replace your thoughs when they go bad by using constant and different behaviior.OCD is all about changing your thoughts and behaviour ,you have to take baby steps and find out what works for you .You owe yourself this chance ,meditation is one ,get a friend to hold your hand and breath with you ifr neccessary ,you have to focuse on something else at the time ,this is the only way you will figure out what works .Try as many new things as possible .most probably you feel like you cannot breath and nothing else matters at the time but you have to push the thoughts in adifferent direction ,for eg if nobody is around to help you ,sit yourself down ,breath deeply and close your eyes ,picture anything you love, a beautiful place like the beach,now take a walk on the sand ,feel the wind ,the cool water on your legs ,see the waves ,hear the birds .hen you feel safe and calm come back do not rush this ,take as much time as you need .try this and repeat as often as possible.please try new behaviours it will alter the thought process . hope this will help.

 
Old 10-02-2010, 08:03 PM   #5
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

Hey you are not alone in this I have had intrusive thoughts about hurting others and myself now for almost a year come christmas. I know in my heart and my head that I would never hurt anyone or myself that is just not my nature. But for some reason the thoughts just don't go away at all. I did have a couple months solace. During that time I had thoughts, but they didn't seem to bother me. For some reason though they came back this past Monday and I don't know why. The best advice that I can give you and this is all based off of my own experiences. First I would tell your doctor what is happening. Trust me they will not judge you they are there to help. Second is when you have the thoughts just tell yourself they are thoughts and nothing more and thoughts don't control me. Thirdly by seeking help you have realized that something is wrong. This is a tell tale sign that you are not going to carry out your thoughts. This is what I have been told and it seems to be true. The feeling of being anxious, guilty, whatever is your bodies way of saying hey this isn't me. Plus seeking help is another sign that you know that these thoughts aren't good. So don't worry that you are going to do something because you are not. Keep me posted.

Last edited by bear6079; 10-02-2010 at 08:04 PM.

 
Old 10-06-2010, 07:20 AM   #6
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

I admitted myself to the emergency room last week. I got admitted to a psychiactric unit for a week. I finally got help. But I keep having the thoughs. I was admitted to a hospital . And I came out and its as bad as ever. I switched my medication to prozac and lorazepan. But nothing stopping. I am having homicidal ideations and my brain is making me feel like I am going to do them. Maybe I need to go back. I just dont know anymore. Help

 
Old 10-07-2010, 04:10 PM   #7
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts

Hey there, i am sorry to hear you still feel so badly.I cant even imagine how bad it must be for you,you said that you afraid that you will carry out what you thinking,Well i dont think you will because the way you are sufferring and trying to fight this tells me that you have so much good in you ,There must be something or even someone that makes you feel safe in your life before this began what made you smile or happy hang on to that .What about your childhood,what was your safety zone,when last did you feel free .If you feel you need to go back to the hospital to be safe for yourself or others then you must allow yourself to return.Please be kind to yourself ,remember you are fighting by doing different things to help yourself and by asking people for help and being honest about you feel tells me that thereis good in you and already that is a positive thing,I know right now you feel like theres no way out but ultimatedly you are the only one that can fight back ,fight for your control ,dont give up!! you going to find a way out,you can reverse this and you will be there helping somebody else .You are strong to have come this far at least .please hang in there ,we care what happens to you.Take care forgiveness

 
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