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Old 10-23-2010, 09:22 AM   #1
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happinessplease HB User
Does this sound like Relationship OCD? It's rocking my world.

Hi All,

I'm new on here but came across the site while obsessively googling my dillema. I'm in a really bad way. I'm in a long term relationship (over 4 years) and love my partner so much. However I can worry for days as to whether he's 'the one' and obsess about the fact that everyone else seems to 'just know.' I'm constantly looking at peoples wedding fingers, thinking, 'oh they're married they must have just known'. My partner has all the qualtities that I'd look for in my ideal man and i know that's what i'd look for if we werent together. I constantly compare my relationship to others and while I am realising that we have such a good thing I can't help but think why don't i 'feel more' then, even though he says he feels loved. Also sometimes I can obsess and get down about the tiniest thing - like a certain way he looks - I feel like I look for problems sometimes.

In past relationships I have had to makes things okay because I wasn't treated the right way. I used to obsess when things weren't okay and try and make them better. I have always got so worked up by my own thoughts. I was close to turning down a job because I was so scared that I would meet someone in the office that i liked more than my ex and I became hysterical about just the thought!

It is affecting me now as I do want this relationship to last and work. I keep thinking it WILL end at one point and I also think that because I didn't fall 'head over heels' at the start then it's a sub-relationship and there's someone out there who can make me feel like that. However we're so loving and affectionate, even if I had a fairytale beginning I don't know whether I'd still have it so good after so many years. I'd say I have had these doubts on and off from the start although they are taking their toll now.

Does this sound like ROCD? Does anyone have any advice and tips to stop the obsessive thoughts? Thank you so much

 
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:57 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 21
recovering HB User
Re: Does this sound like Relationship OCD? It's rocking my world.

Quote:
Originally Posted by happinessplease View Post
Hi All,

I'm new on here but came across the site while obsessively googling my dillema. I'm in a really bad way. I'm in a long term relationship (over 4 years) and love my partner so much. However I can worry for days as to whether he's 'the one' and obsess about the fact that everyone else seems to 'just know.' I'm constantly looking at peoples wedding fingers, thinking, 'oh they're married they must have just known'. My partner has all the qualtities that I'd look for in my ideal man and i know that's what i'd look for if we werent together. I constantly compare my relationship to others and while I am realising that we have such a good thing I can't help but think why don't i 'feel more' then, even though he says he feels loved. Also sometimes I can obsess and get down about the tiniest thing - like a certain way he looks - I feel like I look for problems sometimes.

In past relationships I have had to makes things okay because I wasn't treated the right way. I used to obsess when things weren't okay and try and make them better. I have always got so worked up by my own thoughts. I was close to turning down a job because I was so scared that I would meet someone in the office that i liked more than my ex and I became hysterical about just the thought!

It is affecting me now as I do want this relationship to last and work. I keep thinking it WILL end at one point and I also think that because I didn't fall 'head over heels' at the start then it's a sub-relationship and there's someone out there who can make me feel like that. However we're so loving and affectionate, even if I had a fairytale beginning I don't know whether I'd still have it so good after so many years. I'd say I have had these doubts on and off from the start although they are taking their toll now.

Does this sound like ROCD? Does anyone have any advice and tips to stop the obsessive thoughts? Thank you so much

 
Old 10-28-2010, 12:50 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 0
paranoi HB User
Re: Does this sound like Relationship OCD? It's rocking my world.

I have had the same situation for about 7 months or so....

my story is:

I met my boyfriend about 3 years ago and about a year and a half ago we started dating. I was madly in love with him had butterflies and everything that goes along with that...around 6 months i started worrying (out of no where!) if i had cheated on him and obbsesivly thinking about it, feeling a need to confess random things. there was an event i didn't tell him about before our relationship with me and another guy that i felt i HAD to tell him about, so i did. He was angry but brushed it off- just a few days after feeling guilty i started getting intense thoughts --

- if i even loved him
- i had no passion towards him
- i just wanted to end things ect...

so i broke up with him and i was severly depressed for two days. then we decided we were going to get back together... i still had obbsessive thoughts about loving him and if i felt anything.

it was fine for a few months but now its back and i hate it. I can't feel normal. i am constantly questioning my feelings and i keep thinking - if it was so good in the beggining and i couldn't be apart from him then how can i feel this all of a sudden. Does this mean i am in a passionless relationship? or does it sound like OCD?

 
Old 11-28-2010, 10:31 PM   #4
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Austin, TX, USA
Posts: 2
guardingtess HB User
Re: Does this sound like Relationship OCD? It's rocking my world.

Hi happinessplease,

Reading your post was very strange because it is as if I had written it myself.

My problem is that I kind of ruined it, and I'm not sure where it's going to go from here. We talk about the future ten, fifteen years out. But a while ago, I mentioned marriage--we've been together for years and had never talked about it (we're still pretty young). And he kind of freaked out and it hasn't been the same since. I don't want to get married very soon, it's just that... I'd have liked to hear him say he wanted to marry me at one point. Like it wasn't enough for him to be amazing on a daily basis. I wish I hadn't said anything.

I've been in an intense relationship before, and it was wonderful while it lasted, but when it ended (I moved away), it was a disaster. And that guy wasn't really right for me; there were some issues there. So I wonder if there is a hybrid between my current guy, who is amazing, with whom I'd have more chemistry. But then I wonder if better exists out there?

 
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