I can see that your in a really tough spot right now. I read everything you wrote, and all i see is a really sweet and articulate girl. I hope that one day, you will see this yourself and maybe the acceptance will ease your mind a bit.
I think that it's good for you that you now have the right support, and meds to help you on your way. Just remember, that only you can change things.
Keep fighting, to ask for help is the first step as they say