It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-01-2010, 04:00 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Aviaja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 20
Aviaja HB User
OCD/anxiety and attachmentdisorder

Hi everyone,

I have this problem that's just haunting me all the time. Although its disguises change, and rears its ugly head in different situations.

I wanna know if anyone else has this problem. If not, maybe just some comforting words, then...

I really really have a hard time to connect with anyone. I avoid all kinds of deeper connections, although i occasionally want it, and feel like something is missing in my life. I have lots of friends, i can have deeper friendships, but they are also more manageable right. You decide when to see them and when not to. In (romantic) relationships you can't just leave when you feel like it. Some people call it being held accountable for your actions, but also feelings, and that feels like censorship to me. Being boxed in and restricted. But here's the twist, i want the restrictions, i feel lost without rules, i thrive in structure, but i also feel the walls caving in at the very thought.

So i have very shallow relationships with people who are lower in the social hirearchy or higher, just someone who won't commit either, or won't demand anything of me...especially me, the entire me. All they see is the fun, intelligent me, but not the obsessive neurotic me, and maybe that's what i feel is being restricted. It is so exhausting to keep pieces of yourself from the world, your whole life becomes an intermezzo of moments, memories, fragmented and then shattered when it all accumulates into anxiety and then disengagement, because i need the peace to pick up the pieces. Peace to structure my life with rituals again.

I've heard people say that they'll rather bleed, than to feel nothing at all. I know it's really taboo, but i feel that stormy relationships are scarier than nothingness. Maybe because nothingness is just nothingness with a sweet predictability and apathy to follow. No strings attached right. But this doesn't mean that i think its good or right. It doesn't exactly have that warm, fuzzy tinge to it.
I know that i'm missing out.

Does anyone else feel this. Feel that longer relationships is abruptive AND wonderful, but incredibly draining?

- Aviaja

Last edited by Aviaja; 11-01-2010 at 04:02 AM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-03-2010, 09:54 AM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Aviaja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 20
Aviaja HB User
Re: OCD/anxiety and attachmentdisorder

you guys are very quiet...

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Anxiety and hypertension preventing taking medication for my ADHD; what can I do? Tommot Anxiety 3 08-30-2010 04:41 PM
enough is enough! anxiety has taken over, trying meds finally--input please mochi* Anxiety 8 03-22-2009 07:10 PM
lamictal and anxiety cyclomaniac Bipolar Disorder 5 04-22-2008 09:41 AM
Nexium and Anxiety / Depression choco121 Anxiety 1 01-13-2005 12:03 PM
Desperately trying to defeat anxiety... Please help Man Apart Anxiety 7 12-21-2004 03:32 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:03 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!