It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-01-2010, 07:10 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Burlington, VT
Posts: 2
whs32809 HB User
Exclamation relationship ocd- im a mess

hey so i just joined this forum because i was looking for whether other people felt the same way about their relationship.

my relationship ocd started when i was a freshman in college (now im a sophomore). my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year and a half and were completely in love. i know that i love him more than anything in the world but my ocd is telling me that i dont. i think much of this stems from him and i being in the transition from crazy head over heels in love to mature love but since i dont have much relationship experience i dont know how to deal with it. i feel like my brain is interpreting the shift to mature love as meaning i dont love my boyfriend and its killing me.

i do a ritual to visualize my boyfriend and looking at him and being with him and trying to feel the love we have for each other and how amazing it is when i am with him. its gotten to the point where im doing the ritual every few minutes and it has made trying to focus in my classes difficult.

i only recently realized that it was ocd but i find myself constantly doubting it and wondering whether it really means something. ive had ocd for a while and have been working with a therapist and psychiatrist to overcome obsessions about contamination but these new obsessions are so different from what i am used to that i keep doubting.

its also difficult because my boyfriend and i are in a long distance relationship so i only see him every 3 or 4 weeks and its so hard and it fuels my ocd. i dont feel secure in my feelings unless im with him but i know how i feel in my heart and i love that i love him with everything in me and i want to be with him forever but my ocd about this is killing me.

how do you all deal with these obsessions? i know the treatment and what works for me with my contamination obsessions but i have no idea how to handle this. what works for you? i know i cant live my life like this and i want to tackle or at least deal with this issue. please help me or at least reassure me! thank you!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-02-2010, 02:12 PM   #2
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 0
paranoi HB User
Re: relationship ocd- im a mess

Quote:
Originally Posted by whs32809 View Post
hey so i just joined this forum because i was looking for whether other people felt the same way about their relationship.

my relationship ocd started when i was a freshman in college (now im a sophomore). my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year and a half and were completely in love. i know that i love him more than anything in the world but my ocd is telling me that i dont. i think much of this stems from him and i being in the transition from crazy head over heels in love to mature love but since i dont have much relationship experience i dont know how to deal with it. i feel like my brain is interpreting the shift to mature love as meaning i dont love my boyfriend and its killing me.

i do a ritual to visualize my boyfriend and looking at him and being with him and trying to feel the love we have for each other and how amazing it is when i am with him. its gotten to the point where im doing the ritual every few minutes and it has made trying to focus in my classes difficult.

i only recently realized that it was ocd but i find myself constantly doubting it and wondering whether it really means something. ive had ocd for a while and have been working with a therapist and psychiatrist to overcome obsessions about contamination but these new obsessions are so different from what i am used to that i keep doubting.

its also difficult because my boyfriend and i are in a long distance relationship so i only see him every 3 or 4 weeks and its so hard and it fuels my ocd. i dont feel secure in my feelings unless im with him but i know how i feel in my heart and i love that i love him with everything in me and i want to be with him forever but my ocd about this is killing me.

how do you all deal with these obsessions? i know the treatment and what works for me with my contamination obsessions but i have no idea how to handle this. what works for you? i know i cant live my life like this and i want to tackle or at least deal with this issue. please help me or at least reassure me! thank you!


-- hey, I have the same exact thing, like word for word, wether its obsessing over something completely irrational, lacking my passion towards him or having the feeling to love him, its miserable. I don't like to talk about it to my friends or anyone either because they just tell me that I probably don't love him which I know can't be true. The only person I trust with telling these thoughts to is my mom because I know she won't judge me or say something to make me get anxiety. I've also experienced moodiness.(guess thats the depression side of it) where I get moody and short tempered with him. Its very frustrating because as much as I don't want to feel this way I can't just change it, our stupid ocd controls our thoughts and feelings which makes it hard to set them aside and focus on the positive.
This all started one day when I got a thought about not telling him about a guy I've been with in the past, which was totally irrelevant but, my mind wouldn't drop it so I confessed to him. After feeling guilty and such these thoughts flooded my mind...its weird too because it feels like I am bringing it on myself but I literally can't help it. Is that how your thoughts are?

 
Old 11-02-2010, 04:01 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Burlington, VT
Posts: 2
whs32809 HB User
Re: relationship ocd- im a mess

Quote:
Originally Posted by paranoi View Post
-- hey, I have the same exact thing, like word for word, wether its obsessing over something completely irrational, lacking my passion towards him or having the feeling to love him, its miserable. I don't like to talk about it to my friends or anyone either because they just tell me that I probably don't love him which I know can't be true. The only person I trust with telling these thoughts to is my mom because I know she won't judge me or say something to make me get anxiety. I've also experienced moodiness.(guess thats the depression side of it) where I get moody and short tempered with him. Its very frustrating because as much as I don't want to feel this way I can't just change it, our stupid ocd controls our thoughts and feelings which makes it hard to set them aside and focus on the positive.
This all started one day when I got a thought about not telling him about a guy I've been with in the past, which was totally irrelevant but, my mind wouldn't drop it so I confessed to him. After feeling guilty and such these thoughts flooded my mind...its weird too because it feels like I am bringing it on myself but I literally can't help it. Is that how your thoughts are?
paranoi,

i know exactly what u mean. its so hard and since im at college i dont have the skills to be able to deal with this here. it makes me absolutely miserable.

i actually talk to my mom about it too because she knows my history with ocd but its still hard because since she doesnt have ocd she cant fully understand the obsessions and compulsions. i hate it because there is nothing i can do about it now. i cant distract myself, i cant focus on anything else, all i want to do is sleep because when im sleeping im not thinking about those thoughts. its starting to impact my school work too which im so angry about.

the worst part though is that even though i know its my ocd that is fueling these thoughts, i still doubt that it is. its like what if the thoughts actually mean something and that scares me so much! i know that i love my boyfriend but i need to be with him to feel it. it sucks!

i have a phone call with my therapist from home who is like a genius tomorrow night and i cant wait to talk to him and for him to reassure me that its ocd and give me the skills to be able to stifle these obessions. ill let you know how that goes! im so relieved to find other people who experience the same feelings though! how have you been dealing with it?

 
Old 11-02-2010, 07:23 PM   #4
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 0
paranoi HB User
Re: relationship ocd- im a mess

Quote:
Originally Posted by whs32809 View Post
paranoi,

i know exactly what u mean. its so hard and since im at college i dont have the skills to be able to deal with this here. it makes me absolutely miserable.

i actually talk to my mom about it too because she knows my history with ocd but its still hard because since she doesnt have ocd she cant fully understand the obsessions and compulsions. i hate it because there is nothing i can do about it now. i cant distract myself, i cant focus on anything else, all i want to do is sleep because when im sleeping im not thinking about those thoughts. its starting to impact my school work too which im so angry about.

the worst part though is that even though i know its my ocd that is fueling these thoughts, i still doubt that it is. its like what if the thoughts actually mean something and that scares me so much! i know that i love my boyfriend but i need to be with him to feel it. it sucks!

i have a phone call with my therapist from home who is like a genius tomorrow night and i cant wait to talk to him and for him to reassure me that its ocd and give me the skills to be able to stifle these obessions. ill let you know how that goes! im so relieved to find other people who experience the same feelings though! how have you been dealing with it?

hey! good luck btw
so glad to hear back- To answer your questions, it started last november so its been almost a year now. Dont let that scare you because the obsessions come and go and its not this bad all the time, but still very frustrating!

- Also i know what you mean about talking with your mom on this subject, its a sensitive one so (to me) whenever she tries to say something comforting i dont feel any better, maybe even more confused. its like i need someone to tell me this is fake. that is reassurance which our ocd thrives on.

-for realtionship ocd obsessions we kinda have to let them run their course till you are over it and know its not true. its basically like preparing yourself to give up the thought. ha as you can see i have had way to many "spikes" or obsessions, that i'm know what they are, but STILL believe them...

-I think you should not let this affect your school work because its just silly thoughts that are taken way too seriously. I know exactly how you feel about getting distracted during class and just dwelling on the thoughts, i too do that. I can go an entire hour or more just analyzing how i feel and trying to get to the bottom of it (which is pointless because the thoughts themselves root from nowhere!).

-I can doubt that its ocd as well because, well if our ocd minds let us believe truly this isn't real (which it isn't) then we wouldn't be worried in the first place! I also find myself sometimes obsessing about obsessing thoughts that i forget what i'm even obsessing about. does that make any sense lol ?
it helps to laugh things off sometimes as well.
hang in there, you're not alone and i'm here to talk too.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to paranoi For This Useful Post:
Jarice (11-10-2010)
Old 11-10-2010, 12:02 PM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1
Jarice HB User
Re: relationship ocd- im a mess

First off, let me start by saying thank god I have found someone with a story like mine! I don't like the fact that you are going through this but I feel so much better to know that I am not the only one going through something like this! I am new to this whole thing, and I haven't been diagnosed with OCD or GAD or anything of the like, but I know something is wrong with me! I don't feel like I can talk about it with my friends or family because I feel that they won't understand. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do! My bf and I have been together for a 1yr and a half now. This is my first real relationship. He is amazing and sweet, and thank god, patient and understanding because I have not been easy to have a relationship with. When we first got together I was consumed with the thought that he didn't love me enough and that he was going to leave me for his ex. I used to cry and get angry and lash out at him for no reason, all because of the thoughts running through my mind. Thankfully those thoughts went away on their own within a few months and we were finally able to relax and just enjoy eachother. But then disaster struck again about 4 months ago. I lost my job, and was feeling totally lost about what I should do with the rest of my life. Should I go to school or get another job? But through this I was confident in our relationship. I used to wake up every morning thinking " I am so lucky to have you in my life. I can't believe how much I love you!" I knew we had our problems, like everyone does, but I was totally sure that no matter what, this was it and we were dedicated to this relationship. You may laugh at me now, I know it was kind of silly but it was a last resort for me, I went to see a psychic. I wanted guidance on what I should go to school for etc. Instead she told me my bf and I, no matter what we did, was not going to work out! That I was going to leave him! At first of course I was like "No way" and i scoffed at the idea. But within a few days her ugly "prediction" was sitting in the back of my mind. Now it consumes my every waking thought. What if we break up? What if I fall out of love with him? What if I hurt him? I am obsessed with this and I KNOW it is irrational because days before this "prediction" I was completely head over heels in love with him!! And now I find myself panicking when were apart and even when were together. I know I love him but I can't find those feelings underneath all this fear! I'm having anxiety attacks, I can't sleep, I make myself sick. I feel like I'm going crazy Is this normal? I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how to get over this and I'm afraid that I'm going to ruin this great relationship with this amazing guy all because I can't get these thoughts out of my head. And I know what you mean when you say you find yourself doubting how you feel about him. I am like that to. And it's ridiculous because I know that I love him with all my heart.

Last edited by Jarice; 11-10-2010 at 12:06 PM.

 
Old 11-10-2010, 01:09 PM   #6
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 0
paranoi HB User
Re: relationship ocd- im a mess

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarice View Post
First off, let me start by saying thank god I have found someone with a story like mine! I don't like the fact that you are going through this but I feel so much better to know that I am not the only one going through something like this! I am new to this whole thing, and I haven't been diagnosed with OCD or GAD or anything of the like, but I know something is wrong with me! I don't feel like I can talk about it with my friends or family because I feel that they won't understand. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do! My bf and I have been together for a 1yr and a half now. This is my first real relationship. He is amazing and sweet, and thank god, patient and understanding because I have not been easy to have a relationship with. When we first got together I was consumed with the thought that he didn't love me enough and that he was going to leave me for his ex. I used to cry and get angry and lash out at him for no reason, all because of the thoughts running through my mind. Thankfully those thoughts went away on their own within a few months and we were finally able to relax and just enjoy eachother. But then disaster struck again about 4 months ago. I lost my job, and was feeling totally lost about what I should do with the rest of my life. Should I go to school or get another job? But through this I was confident in our relationship. I used to wake up every morning thinking " I am so lucky to have you in my life. I can't believe how much I love you!" I knew we had our problems, like everyone does, but I was totally sure that no matter what, this was it and we were dedicated to this relationship. You may laugh at me now, I know it was kind of silly but it was a last resort for me, I went to see a psychic. I wanted guidance on what I should go to school for etc. Instead she told me my bf and I, no matter what we did, was not going to work out! That I was going to leave him! At first of course I was like "No way" and i scoffed at the idea. But within a few days her ugly "prediction" was sitting in the back of my mind. Now it consumes my every waking thought. What if we break up? What if I fall out of love with him? What if I hurt him? I am obsessed with this and I KNOW it is irrational because days before this "prediction" I was completely head over heels in love with him!! And now I find myself panicking when were apart and even when were together. I know I love him but I can't find those feelings underneath all this fear! I'm having anxiety attacks, I can't sleep, I make myself sick. I feel like I'm going crazy Is this normal? I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how to get over this and I'm afraid that I'm going to ruin this great relationship with this amazing guy all because I can't get these thoughts out of my head. And I know what you mean when you say you find yourself doubting how you feel about him. I am like that to. And it's ridiculous because I know that I love him with all my heart.
-- hey im glad you posted!
I don't know which person your reply was to specifically but im glad to know you have the same thing as us all
And also, Whoever your psych was, was an idiot! if they knew you had ocd or anxiety (which it def. sounds like you do, just like me) they wouldn't have poisened you with the thought of you breaking up with your boyfriend. Don't worry, what does your psych know anyway...also! you KNOW its ocd if your: unsure about a random thought, or it brings you anxiety, fear, worry and depression, and also if its repetetive enough that you feel the need to analyze it. OCD is pretty manipulative also, so if it feels like a thought in your head is trying to persuade you of what you know or want, then its OCD. A great example of this that alot of ppl do when they have ocd, is worrying that its not your ocd and these thoughts are real (which i am going through).
Its very hard to deal with and being able to tell what are your thoughts and what is ocd. thats what I struggle with the most...right now the thought that i can't tell wether its real or ocd is when i think of forever with him or our marraige - I think , oh i want that of course! but then my thoughts come in and say - no... your lying to yourself, your setting yourself up in a trap and your just going to hurt him...hate that so much. it makes me confused and uncomfortable

--well, i can say i know you have what we all have and that your thoughts wont hurt you or your relationship if you don't let them, so be tough!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
OCD surgery and PTTD update Sparksa Foot & Ankle Problems 5 11-10-2010 10:44 AM
Relationship OCD or something else? sr058632 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 7 07-17-2010 06:15 PM
Relationship OCD recovery and ocd recovery Cozimafighta Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 4 05-10-2010 01:41 PM
Relationship OCD and ocd recovery Cozimafighta Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 16 04-23-2010 12:52 PM
Relationship OCD and Ocd Help Cozimafighta Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 2 04-23-2010 11:01 AM

Tags
ocd, relationship, rocd



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Eyes2thesky (10), TrainOfThought (10), paisleyprincess (5), guitarman86 (5), PinkIcecream (4), dee088 (3), eddysmom1 (3), Kali333 (3), Katy1978 (3), Sillygrl (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (850), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:16 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!