Hi all..I have been experiencing major guilt which the doc says is a part of my OCD..I feel guilty about alot of things that have been done in the past and I feel the need to go back and confess those things to the people that they concern..alot of it is things that would only hurt the person I am telling the truth to..alot of it should be able to be let go of..I don't understand why it is so hard to let go..especailly if you are genuinely sorry..I have already done this before and it caused alot of trouble for me but I could not help but to tell people things that I had lied about..does anyone else go through this??? I just feel so alone like I am the only person it really affects..which I know is not the case but it's how I feel..If anyone has any advice please help me..thank you sooooo much!
hello. I'm going through the exact same thing that you are and it really bothers me it drives me crazy because I spend all day every day thinking about things that I wish I had done differently...and then I have the feeling of needing to confess these things! I really hate it, I've started taking medications now but they have only helped a little bit.
In AA, members are taught to go back and try to right the wrongs we did but ONLY if it would not cause further harm to that person. In other words if you cheated on your spouse, by confessing to them, if they didn't know about all you had done and by confessing to them, you would be hurting them MORE, then by the guidelines of AA you DON'T do that. You might be making yourself feel better but you would be harming that person further.
Say you stole something from a store and you feel the need to confess but to confess what you did, you might be putting your family at risk financially, who is going to feed and keep a roof over their head if you go to jail or prison?? Try to decide on a dollar amount if you took something and send a money order to the store, you don't have to sign your name to the money order. You can buy money orders at the post office, at most pharmacies, at a lot of places, attach a note explaining what the money is for and trust the manager to do the right thing with the money. Address the envelope to the store, NO return address if you are afraid of it being traced back to you, it cannot be traced, you don't have to worry about it being fingerprinted.
There are many ways to make amends for things a person has done and NOT cause further harm to the person or persons involved.
Go talk to someone who can help you to deal with your thoughts and feelings of guilt; a minister, a priest, a social worker, a therapist; a trusted friend, or even a stranger on the street. The longer you wrestle with this, the longer you torment yourself with it all, the worse you are making it and the more apt you are to do something you will regret.
Good luck to you and if I can be of further help, post something here to me, I will see it.
Thanks to the both of you for responding..I really appreciate it..my medication is starting to work again and the feelings are starting to become controllable thank God! I have actually heard and have been told to look at some of the steps that the AA members follow and they seem very helpful especially the 1 that you have mentioned about reconcilling with people and/or other things and I totally agree with that because I have often thought of saying things and knowing it would hurt the other person and make me temporarily feel better but knowing that I have hurt someone would also hurt me so it is a lose/lose situation. Plus some of the things that I would "confess" to are not a big deal at all and I should keep them in the past where they belong and move foward but it is hard to keep that in mind when OCD flares up because it just feels like the words will just fall out or fly out of your mouth if you are around that person. I'm glad I am not alone but I am also sorry for you and anyone else who feels more or less of what I feel which is somewhat of a contradiction but I pray for deliverance for the both of you and again thank you so much for your responses..they have filled me with hope and have eased the "rough time". Thanks- Mal
I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I have felt much better now that I am on medication. However, medication is not something I want to do long term, so, I want to try and ween myself off soon. If you ever need to talk though, I am always glad to listen : )