It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-09-2010, 04:16 PM   #1
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
anybody ever have a thought like this??

last night i was sitting in my boyfriends room watching tv and i had this thought that there was a window behind his tv but there isnt and i knew that there wasnt but i dont know why that even came into my head and i cant stop thinkng about how i even thought that for a spilt second. does this sound like a ocd thought?? i dont know if it is considered a hallcunation? i didnt actually see a window or anything.

 
Old 11-10-2010, 01:16 PM   #2
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

I want to apologize in advance if this comes out long. I'm a 26 year old female. I have a always been a shy person, even as a child. Around 19, I began blushing when I was nervous which lead me to have a social anxiety disorder. I have always had some type of anxiety and anxious feeling. Always want things to be perfect and always considered about how everybody is feeling and want everybody to be happy. In March, I had my first panic attack. Ever since then I keep having them every so often and I also have tingling and numbness in my face, hands, and toes on and off for months now. I have had tests done and all the doctors say it is anxiety related. For the past 3 months, I have felt very anxious almost 24/7. I felt like screaming aloud. Just normal things felt stressful and I kind of started being a little snappy. About a month ago, I woke up one day and had all these intrusive violent thoughts about hurting myself and others. I had such anger and wanted to pull out my hair, pinch, punch, yell. I would look at people and picture myself doing all these horrible things to them. Mind you I could never even kill a bug before all this. I was sitting eating dinner one day and felt this anger and wanted to take the chicken breast I was eating and tear it into pieces and run out of the room. I seriously thought about checking myself into a mental hospital everyday. I never gave into these urges. I also kept feeling like I was in a dream, I would look in the mirror and I knew it was me but it didnt feel like me. I also finally say a pyschiatrist and she told me I have anxiety. She also told me that dream like state I was feeling was called depersonalization. I started taking lexapro 5mg on saturday. The thing is I can't help but think I'm in the beginning stage of schizophrenia or bipolar or borderline personality disorder. I keep waiting to hear voices or see something. The other night I got freaked out when I was watching tv with my boyfriend and I pictured a window behind his tv and a terrace outside his two windows and I didn't actually see anything or actually think it was there but I just had this thought for a spilt second that it was there. I dont even know if that makes sense but ever since then I have been stressing about it and thinking it was a hallcunation even though I know it wasnt there. Can anybody relate to anything I am feeling? Do I sound like I'm in the beginning stages of schizophrenia? Please help.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-10-2010, 01:25 PM   #3
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

I forgot to mention that I have also been having bad mood swings. I have felt sad, empty, hopeless. I don't know if it's because I started having all the violent thoughts and it scared me and put me in a depression. I have moods where I feel fine and then other times I just want to cry. I also have not wanted to be alone and when I am I think more and feel lost and alone. Thanks for reading this. Any thoughts or input would be great.

 
Old 11-11-2010, 12:38 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
jonnstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,873
jonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB Userjonnstar HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

Dont worry - you arnt going mad, you have too much insight for that.

The lexapro will probably help, thoughin the short term, a benzodiazepine tranquiliser (Valium, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin etc) would give virtualy instant short term relief.

Dont give up, there is a med or combo of meds out there that will work for you (I am on Xanax, paxil and Edronax, a noradrenalin reuptake inhibitor, its quite a cocktail of pills to swallow, but it keeps me a normal functioning member of society)

 
Old 11-11-2010, 06:38 AM   #5
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

Thank you for the reply. I think I am making myself stress so much that I'm thinking and making up scenarios in my head. I just can't seem to relax. I'm also not sleeping at night because I started having tmj symptoms and its been bothering me and my dentist says its from stress. Im just scared that I'm never going to be my old self again and I don't want to develop schizophrenia or anything else. It's scary not knowing what's in the future.

 
Old 11-11-2010, 06:45 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,356
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

I absolutely do NOT think you need to worry about schizophrenia!
not at all.....my best guess is OCD.....have you ever read up on it?
check out the OCD board here....I have OCD and once I realized THAT was what it was, a lot of things just fell into place and made sense!
relax, take a deep breath, and look into OCD and see if it seems to fit you.

 
Old 11-11-2010, 09:40 AM   #7
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

Well you assured me for about 5 min lol and then I was back to thinking that maybe I am schziophrenic. I have looked at OCD and think I have always been somewhat OCD. Examples, if I tap my fingers one way on one hand I have to do it the exact way on the other hand, I get crazy if things are not in the order that I like it, as a kid my mom said I had a problem and would cry if I was dirty, I can never let things go!!! and there's more examples.

The thing that is bothering me still though is my thinking about the window in my boyfriend's room, I just can't seem to move past it. I'm at work right now I was thinking to myself what other crazy thoughts am I going to have? and then this crazy thought came into my head, "There are monkeys in the bathroom" I am actually laughing as I type because I know how ridicoulous that sounds. Then I had the urge to tell my co-worker that exact sentence. Are these random crazy thoughts that don't make sense hallcunations? I kept thinking to myself what is wrong with me? Now I worked myself up and feel really anxious. Then I think this must be how schizophrenic people start off before they actually start seeing things and hearing things.

I just want to be normal!!

Last edited by ms_mod; 11-11-2010 at 10:32 AM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

 
Old 11-11-2010, 09:43 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,356
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

it's OCD for sure, and the thoughts that it may be schizophrenia are "intrusive thoughts"......you KNOW there aren't monkeys in the bathroom.....
if you really had schizophrenia, you would believe the monkeys were there for real.....

 
Old 11-11-2010, 09:56 AM   #9
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

I was tempted to go check in the bathroom to reassure myself that I dont really think monkeys are in there but I told myself to get over it I don't really think monkeys are in there. How does OCD like this just come about? What kind of therapies or readings can I look into? I just started taking the lexapro on Saturday because the pysch said it is all anxiety, will the medicine help with OCD as well? I don't have another appt until Dec. 4. Is there anything I can do in the meantime?

Last edited by ms_mod; 11-11-2010 at 10:33 AM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

 
Old 11-11-2010, 10:04 AM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,356
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

I don't know about the meds.....for me, once I learned what it was, that helped re-assure me......whenever I start thinking goofy, I remind myself...."it's the OCD"
there are a lot of books.....one called "the boy who couldn't stop washing",
another one called "Imp of the mind"....maybe read a book about it to help ease your mind. I know that when I'm stressed more, the OCD comes to the surface more.

 
Old 11-11-2010, 10:11 AM   #11
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
Re: anybody ever have a thought like this??

Thank you for the reply. I don't know what's wrong with me. Today this thought popped into my head that there are monkeys in the bathroom. I know that there aren't monkeys in the bathroom and then I couldn't stop stressing about what's wrong with me. Help me!!

 
Old 11-11-2010, 11:37 AM   #12
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

Honestly I'm so freaking out right now. I truly think I may have schizophrenia. I have been thinking that I do n keep looking out for stuff. I looked at a roof the other day and I thought of an alien being there. I look out a window n imagine things I think are out there. It's like a mind game. I'm just waiting to hear voices and actually see things.

 
Old 11-11-2010, 11:52 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,356
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

not to make light of things, but have you had your eyes tested lately?
maybe you think you see an alien, but it's simply a pattern on the roof shingles? do you want to have schitzophrenia? I don't think you have it, I think you have OCD, but you seem to want to insist that you have schitzophrenia.....I'm just trying to understand....

 
Old 11-11-2010, 12:30 PM   #14
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: new york, new york, usa
Posts: 63
scaredgirl1 HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
not to make light of things, but have you had your eyes tested lately?
maybe you think you see an alien, but it's simply a pattern on the roof shingles? do you want to have schitzophrenia? I don't think you have it, I think you have OCD, but you seem to want to insist that you have schitzophrenia.....I'm just trying to under
stand....
No I don't want to have it but I googled early signs and I can relate to so many. I do wear contacts already. It's not that I actually saw something. It's more that im so freaked out about becoming schizophrenic that I come up with these images and scenarios that I think um going to think if I am schizophrenic. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

 
Old 11-11-2010, 12:34 PM   #15
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,356
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: second guessing my dx. from pysch..any thoughts?

just stop thinking those thoughts....you're going in circles, getting yourself all worked up into a snit.....
when intrusive thoughts try to invade your mind, picture a stop sign, and say to yourself (or even out loud) STOP.....it takes practice, but you can stave these thoughts off with consistancy.....
stop looking for stuff.....if you are schitzophrenic (which I don't think you are), it will come to the surface eventually without you having to go looking for it.....

 
The Following User Says Thank You to rosequartz For This Useful Post:
scaredgirl1 (11-11-2010)
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
wobbly weak thighs for 5 weeks anybody? togbabe Neuromuscular Diseases 13 11-24-2009 03:42 PM
For anybody who has been addicted to pain killers? coldlevinexi Addiction & Recovery 11 06-05-2008 03:31 AM
Has anybody else had painful day? gorgee Fibromyalgia 22 02-20-2008 07:03 PM
Anybody ever have a really high FT3 in lab... librarygirl2 Thyroid Disorders 6 05-28-2007 08:25 AM
Taking spiro soon, hyperandrogenism questions & anybody take skin biology products? Spark19 Acne 6 09-07-2006 04:09 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Eyes2thesky (10), TrainOfThought (10), paisleyprincess (5), guitarman86 (5), PinkIcecream (4), eddysmom1 (3), Kali333 (3), dee088 (3), Sillygrl (3), BadMalibu (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1011), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (761), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:40 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!