Hi. I have about 3-4 really bad bad episodes of depression and uncontrollable thoughts a year. It seems whenever I have a good workout routine etc going I get slammed with this terrible depression and it screws everything up. I can get to work but I am near worthless as all I think about are the negative thoughts that I know will come upon me.
Most recently I have gone into a terrible depression over an issue that is about .05% likely to happen, but as far as I am concerned I am 100% sure i am part of the .05%. I wake up feeling so dark and hopeless. My whole body tingles and I feel adrenaline running through me i almost want to jump out of bed and run as far as i can to get away. The maddening thing is no matter how irrational I know my worry or fear is I still think it's going to happen to me no questions asked and this plays in my head like a record all day long. I don't think it's ocd because I don't feel compelled to check anything or repeat actions. I just exist until my fear consumes me or i get better. Obviously everytime this happens I get over it and move on only to wait for the next crazy episode. What the heck is this. Is it just major depression? Bipolar because of the racing unyielding negative thoughts (don't seem to have any mania)? I have no idea.
Any thoughts would be helpful. Thanks