Hi, im new to this site and thought ide post this to see if anyone had any useful advice.
Basically ive always been happy, easy going and a tad shy but the last three years ive developed panic attacks and anxiety in general and it seems to come and go. I pretty much have the panic attacks under control but I always seem to have so many worries and find it difficult to relax. I worry about things that *might* happen or things i *might* have done even though in reality i know I have nothing to worry about but I just cant help but worry. In the last six months i started to develop doubts about my fiance. I thought maybe I didnt love him etc. I have been with him 7 years and have always been so happy. He is amazing and he loves me so much. My doubts only started out of the blue one day when I stumbled upon some ******** pages of guys i'de mucked around with back in school. I remembered how exciting it was to be single. I started to remember all the details of the 'encounters' with these guys and the realisation that I would never be single again and I would never be with these guys again just dawned on me like a tonne of bricks and I felt sooo low. I suddenly wanted to go back in time. This made me feel guilty and made it hard for me to look at my fiance. I felt i was going crazy but thanks to google- and alot of googling at that, i am pretty sure I have Relationship OCD. This feeling comes and goes and every time it comes I feel so low then it will go again and make me wonder what on earth i was worried about. Right now its back after I actually ran into an ex lover 2 nights ago, this really shook me up cos I hadnt seen this guy in 8 years and to make matters worse i was drunk and I actually dont remember what on earth I was talking to him about ( I know this sounds bad but it was New years eve and I rarely drink let alone get drunk) but now as you can imagine im thinking the worst, that I probably did or said stupid things to him and I will never know. Im just a mess right now. I would really like to know what helps people get over obsessions and what I can do to help myself get through this episode. Sorry to rant on but this is my story in a large nutshell. Any help appreciated