i have really bad ocd when it comes to chemicals and being poisoned by one (cleaning products, gas/oil, etc) if i get one on my hands, or even touch the bottle it is in, i need to wash my hands very good before touching anything else. If i breath the fuems of a chemical i need to leave the room because im scared im going to get poisoned. even when i eat i have to make sure my utensils and plate did not come in contact with a chemical. i have ocd about other things too but nowhere as bad as my ocd with chemicals. when i do happen to be around the fumes, or someone sprays windex to clean a table and my food is nearby i get so irritable and anxious i cant even eat my food fearing a little spray got onto it. anyways, my boyfriend the other day was cleaning his sink with comet. he was scrubbing it with a sponge and was not wearing gloves. he just rinsed his hands after with water... he didnt use soap. i asked him to wash his hands after and because he isnt ocd like me he forgot. so a couple minutes later i asked him to again but he got sidetracked and forgot. i hate being annoying about my ocd to others but it rlly gives me this uncomfortable feeling deep down i can not shake. Then he tried touching my leg and holding my hand and cuddling with me and i kept being mean and pushing him away and telling him to get off me cus i didnt want him to get the chemical on me. but i didnt tell him that was why so he just thought i was being mean for no reason. It sounds so stupid as im typing it but at the time it was really bothering me. on the bottle it said to wash your hands thourougly with soap and water after using the product before eating, smoking or using the toilet, so in my head i thought him touching me would posion me somehow. then it started to make me angry becuase i had asked him about 2 times to wash his hands and he brushed it off like it was no big deal because to a normal person it wouldnt be. i felt like i wanted to punch him in the face everytime he touched me. i feel really bad i had that anger towards my boyfriend. I just get very angry, uncomfortable, irritable if i cant do the things i need to do to make my ocd better ( aka washing hands) finally i asked him to again and he did then it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. but i feel really bad i was mean to him and i feel like it hurt his feelings i kept pushing him away from me. im really embarrased to tell him the extent of my ocd. im afraid he will think im crazy if he knows how upset and worried i get over chemicals. i also hate how when people do things like spraying a table with windex when food is nearby or not washing their hands after touching a chemical i get an intense anger for them like i just wanna smack them because they make my ocd go crazy. is this normal to feel angered by people who have no idea they are doing anything to bother you, and to most people, what they are doing isn't bad in the first place? i feel like im a psycho..i never would actually hit someone haha but the urge to is deffiantly there when people do things that are carelesss to my ocd whether they realize or not. is this normal?
lmc, you are not psycho in anyway, you just have OCD, thats all. It is no reason to get down on yourself for it. I have OCD with some things like, my proffesor was cleaning off the white board the other day and he left a little tiny line that he didnt erase on accident, it was just an inch of marker that was just there but i felt like it wasnt complete at all,and i got a terrible feeling inside, like i wanted to cry, and like i was really angry at him, i thought to myself "JUST CLEAN OFF THE ******* BOARD FULLY!!" but of course i didn't, i asked him to clean it off and he did, but i felt embarrased so i tried to make it into a joke, you should try doing that with your boyfriend, anyways, it felt so much better when the smudge was gone, and i asked myself the same question, "Am i being too mean? am i just an *******?" I dont think i am, OCD is something you were just meant to have, and for me, it is totally fine living with, but it pisses me off sometimes that i could get that upset over a damn smudge on a white-board. Anyways i hope you found this helpfull, even though i didnt think i helped you that much, it feels good to get it out. Thank you, have a good night
The Following User Says Thank You to Az Dubstyle For This Useful Post: lmc23 (01-14-2011)