I believe I have OCD but im terrified to get tested for it (help me please)
I remember everything, and i always have..my memory is insane, i could tell you where you were standing and exactly what you told me. Not all the time, just with certain things. But my memory drives me insane, i remember things that happened years ago and something that I did bugs me. It consumes me until I look something up and try to make sure that everything will be okay. Sometimes it sastisfies me, and sometimes it dosent.
I hate germs, im terrified of them, im not terribly bad, but I do carry multiple hand sanitizers ready to be used at anytime. I always think of what could happen if I didnt was my hand or sanitize them. I work at a daycare so I think of by me not washing my hands or by sanitizing that book etc after ive touched something, that they could get sick. It dosent happen all of the time, but enough to drive me insane.
I have to always double check that my ebrake is on, or that the door is locked or if my cords are away from the heaters. If i dont do them, i think about it all day or until I get an answer.
I have had intrusive thoughts, and they drove me insane, i had them for 7 months straight.. moderate according to some sites becuse I only thought of it 3-4 hrs a day. But they went away, and now i keep getting the mental thing that causes me to think i did something, and worry when i really know the real answer.
Im mostly terrfied to get tested, because I do know theres something going on, my mother has mental illness, and my brother has aspergers. I hate it because none of us asked for this stuff, and yet here we are. I could loose my job i think because of my intrusive thoughts, even though i would never do any of the things i thought of, and i know that.
Do i have any symtoms, does anyone have any advice for me... please help im at my wits end