ROCD and intrusive thoughts constantly, so emotionally drained.
For a while ive been having really bad ROCD (relationship obsessive compulsive disorder) and intrusive thoughts. Ive been going out with this guy for about 6 months. I get so many thoughts such as, what if i don't love him anymore? And i cannot get the thought out of my head...and it goes round and round and tries to convince me that i don't love him, when i know that i do. I have other ones like, i'll be constantly paranoid that he's cheating on me, or that i'll cheat on him. I also have this annoying intrusive thought that i fancy his best friend. When i dont. He is good looking, but im not interested in him in that way, so i dont know why i get those thoughts. It gets to the point where i see pictures in my head with my intrusive thoughts that i dont want to see, and i just want them to stop so that i can be happy. When im around my boyfriend and i'll be happy, i'll get stupid thoughts such as, you shouldnt be happy, your using him to get to his best friend, or you wont be with him for long anyway. It really gets to me because i love my boyfriend and i just want to be happy. I feel like im getting worse, and my OCD is worse than ever. Im not on any medication, but i have a counciller and im going to see a phycologist soon.
Re: ROCD and intrusive thoughts constantly, so emotionally drained.
I know exactly how you're feeling, I get these exact same thoughts that happen at least once every five minutes, if not more.
I think the reason that they happe is because they have bad outcomes, and because of those bad outcomes, our minds/OCD/anxiety tell us that they WILL happen, even if we CAN control the outcome.
An example of something where we can control the outcome is, say, cheating on our partners, but because IF we did it, the outcome will be bad, our minds tell us that we will.
An example of something where we cannot control the action is say, dreaming about cheating on your partner. But because when we wake up the next morning and we'll feel bad and guilty and whatever, we think it definitly WILL happen, even though we love our partners very much.
This is a list of things I've been anxious about:
-Stopping loving my girlfriend.
-Cheating on my girlfriend.
-Miraculously loving another girl.
-Becoming a pedophile.
-Becoming sexually attracted to an animal or a family member.
And then lesser worries, which won't affect her as much:
-Becoming addicted to gambling.
-Smoking cigarettes or illicit drugs.
-An inability to sleep.
-Waking up in the morning and having the same day over again, like 'Groundhog Day'.
Anxiety is cruel, and I'm no expert, but I do know that I love my girlfriend very much, and in a way, the anxiety is good.
Because you feel bad about not loving your partner, it means you do, it means you don't want to hurt them, which in turn means you still love them.
It's when the anxiety destroys that thought is when you're really in trouble.