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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 03-01-2011, 08:27 PM   #1
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I'm feeling all alone.

I feel like such a horrible person, I have horrible thoughts I find very disturbing and make me sick to my stomach about the people I love most! It's like what else can my mind come up with next? It's a never ending cycle... Can this be ocd? Or something worse? I feel like such a bad person I would never do these things. I really feel all alone in them they are very bizarre thoughts. Worst part is I feel the need to confess all of my thoughts to my boyfriend. I don't want to tell him my thoughts I'm terrified of what he may think, but I can't stop thinking them. Someone anyone can you help me out of this hell hole??! AM I GOING CRAZY? I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY NORMAL LIFE HOW I WAS BEFORE THIS.

 
Old 03-02-2011, 10:17 AM   #2
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Re: I'm feeling all alone.

You are def not alone. I have only seen a therapist 3 times since oct when I feel like my whole mind changed. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. Back in Oct. I started having these horrible thoughts and sort of urges that I didn't want to do and know that I would never do. I had thoughts and harmful images to my loved ones and even strangers. I was and still am afraid that I am going crazy or that I am schizophernic or bipolar. I have been on lexapro 10mg for the past 4 months and it has helped with my thoughts/anxiety/depression but I still feel it and try to fight it. I also feel like it comes more around my period. I'm alone 27 and never even could kill a bug and when all these thoughts started coming it's like what the hell happened to me? I mentioned to my therapist about the ocd and harmful thoughts but she told me it was just my anxiety. I bought the book imp of the mind and I found it very informative and a little helpful. I also just purchased the Lucinda Bassett anxiety and depression cds/video/workbook off of ebay and hoping that helps as well. I really don't like taking the lexapro, never been a big fan of medicine, so I'm trying everything so I don't have to increase my dosage which some days I feel like I should.

 
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Old 03-02-2011, 06:09 PM   #3
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Re: I'm feeling all alone.

Thanks for replying. Yeah it really drives me crazy and makes me feel sick and like an evil person! I hate it so much...

 
Old 03-02-2011, 11:52 PM   #4
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Re: I'm feeling all alone.

Something that I found helpful that I've read is that the fact that these intrusive thoughts upset you so much is a sign that you would never act on them. People who are bad and do terrible things don't feel guilt, sociopaths find those thoughts pleasant. But people with OCD have overwhelming guilt, which is a "good" sign in a way : you are not a bad person. Those are intrusive thoughts caused by anxiety.

 
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