Re: How do I get over the guilt?
I can certainly empathize with you. And I know by experince of how it is hard for loved ones to understand your pain if they themselves have never felt it., but they seem to know have sincer concern for you! I have had a history of anxiety (mostly general anxiety and panic attacks). And I had eventually gotten to a point I no longer needed meds, anxiety was under control for more than 4-5 years. Recently I had some chronic pain issues, in which I had outpatient surgery, and the problem was fixed. The issue however, is during that time of 2-3 months of not knowing exactly what it was (i.e. cancer, tumor, diease, etc.), I had seemingly formed a form of health anxiety. I guess it made me realize that although I am kind young -pushing 35, Im not as young as I used to be, and cancer is a word that I cant seem to get out of my vocabulary.
I am not therapist, but, in my experince, I share all I can with my wife. She was with me when I was going through my anxiety problems before, it was rough. Yeah, sometimes she does not get it, however, just by her being aware let her know I am going through a tough time. I cant always rely on my wife to understand the anxiety aspect of my mental distress, but she tries.
"Do I just keep telling myself that I can't do the past over but that I can make it up to them in the present and the future?"
I cannot say much about your kids, my daughter is a mere 9, however, anxiety and phobias are a diease to me, so if you really had a health problem, would you keep that from them? Or would share with them and expect them to support you through your struggles? What makes your health anxiety any different? I would think by not telling them the truth may make your situation worse. Kids and young adults can tell when parents arent always telling everything, at least I could tell when I was a young teen, it only made me worry about my parents even more.
I hope this helps. Cheers.